Sunday, May 15, 2011

Ex-Sen John Ensign - The Longest Criminal Trial in U.S. History


This is about the Republican character, the right-wing conservative mindset. It's about fear-based brains grasping for straws. There's a pathology that becomes brightly apparent upon a cursory evaluation of Republican criminal activity. For those that don't know, most criminals, when confronted with the evidence, will confess. Even the dumbest of criminals can recognize when they have no defense. Fear-based brains, not so much.

The pathology of apprehended Republican criminals: Lie, lie, lie. Even when facts clearly dispute your credibility, just lie. If, at all possible, point the finger at someone else. Deny ever breaking the law. Don't ever come clean. Delay, obfuscate, and politicize the trial to the bitter end.

Now on this powerless glide-path toward destruction is ex-U.S. Senator Jon Ensign of Nevada, Senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma and Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania. It's true that not all the facts are out, so how can anyone be sure of how this train wreck will play out? Former Rep. Tom Delay – R, Texas, is a great example. For those unaware of the nuances of his trial, Tom was guilty. Guilty, guilty, guilty. For nearly 100 years Texas law clearly states that corporations are not allowed to give money to candidates. As a former Texas legislator “The Hammer” from Houston knew this.

Tom Delay's case demands the question, can evidence against you be more substantial than a video tape of the crime being committed? The answer is, yes. Delay's was all on paper. More than that, the other men who signed the documents, creating the illegal PAC and paying out the money, confirmed that Delay tried to circumvent Texas law. They also testified that Delay knowingly laundered the money through the Republican National Committee. Ultimately Delay was convicted of money laundering. (3 years plus ten years of supervised probation after release.)

So, how guilty was he? Apparently, not guilty enough to ever admit his own guilt. On many occasions Delay pointed the finger at the Travis County D.A., for bringing the charges purely as a political vendetta. This went on for five years as Delay delayed his trial. As mandated by Texas law, only the Travis County District Attorney (in Austin) is burdened with policing Texas politicians. If the D.A. didn't bring charges against Delay, he himself could be charged with a crime. After being found guilty, during his allocution, Delay said to the Judge, “I don't feel like I did anything wrong,” and then claimed that the courts were criminalizing politics.

The Penis Pump Judge

Republican Judge Donald Thompson is another great example. 2006 was a bad year for the Oklahoma judge. Thompson knew his clerks had seen him naked beneath his judicial robes on several occasions, but the compulsion to enlarge his penis was too great. Weeks went by as members of the court heard a ‘wooshing’ sound coming from beneath the judge’s bench. Video tapes of the proceedings had recorded that sound. By the time Thompson was arrested the evidence was overwhelming, but it was the way he tried to lie his way out of it that best illustrates the pathology.
Channeling Austin Powers, Thompson first claimed the penis pump was a gag gift. He never used it. Most importantly, Thompson swore, by all that was holy, that he never once, not once, masturbated while on the bench. Be sure, Thompson made it clear, again and again. This was the mainstay of his defense. Not once! He would never do such a thing! Why, it was just ghastly to make such a accusation.

This went on for several months.

Cue the crime scene investigator: Your Honor, we took a look at your robes and underneath your bench. We hit it with a ultra-violet light and it lit up like someone has been shooting white neon paint balls. That’s right, semen stains fully illuminated the inside of his judicial robes. Same for the judges’ bench. If that wasn’t enough the prosecution went to the trouble of DNA testing the stains just in case another judge was sneaking into the court at night and masturbating his way around the room. Thompson would of been better off pleading a small penis. He received 4 years and a $40,000 fine.

Ego driven Senators

There is a built-in arrogance imbued to the ego of United States Senators. For those of the Republican Christian right wing, probably more so. Soon, federal prosecutors will have three huge egos entangled in a colossal mess of bad judgment, outright fraud, illegal pay-offs, corruption and a sex scandal. Every defendant and witness is white, rich and powerful with something to hide. Even before indictments have been handed down the lies are thick and transparent.

For T.V. detectives the job is easy when they have three suspects. Same is true in real life. Whoever throws their friends under-the-bus first wins a reduced sentence. No doubt this will happen, but if the pathology of ego driven republican politicians has anything to say about it, the case of Sen. John Ensign should be the longest criminal trial in the history of the United States of America. And how dare you demand the truth from these great upstanding men? Pass the popcorn.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The end is near! Jesus returns on May 21st



My Christian friends get annoyed when I call their faith a 'death cult.' What better way is there to describe people who believe the experience of life is mostly about what comes next? Calling for the end of times, the return of Jesus H. Christ, has been the mainstay of Christianity, and yet, for some reason, most Christians want nothing to do with it. This is the story of how Pastor Harold Camping of Oakland, CA, has decreed our final day here on earth as May 21st, 2011. Hardly enough time to get right by Jesus.  Is that silhouette on the billboard a man praying or a man pooping? 

I'd like to point out that Mathew 23:37-39 clearly states that Jesus will not return until the Jewish people accept him as their savior. Pastor Harold Camping says different. Jesus is returning on Sunday the 21st and Camping's church has spent near to $3 million dollars for billboards to let everyone know. And still, those Jews won't accept Jesus as their savior. They'll ruin everything!

Christians today forget that end-of-days religious campaigns have been a mainstay of their faith. Why won't the Presbyterians get on board? 

WILL THIS WIND


My favorite apocalyptic cult, by far, are the Jehovah's Witnesses. A cursory look at their track record for end-of-the-world prophesies read exactly like this Monty Python sketch. Founded in the late 1870's the Jehovah's Witnesses have declared the coming apocalypse for 1914, 1915, 1918, 1922, 1925, 1975. Almost every year, the God's final judgment is just around the corner. What is really weird about this Watchtower cult is that no one seems to know where the money goes. There are no J.W. / Watchtower charities. Good thing we all pay their taxes or they might go out of business. 

KEITH OLBERMANN


Sunday, May 1, 2011

Video: The Whitehouse Correspondence Dinner

Poor "The Donald," his hair never saw it coming. . .