On June 14th of this year we lost touchdown Jesus due to daddy lightning. And then, bam!, Poland came out of last place to consecrate the world’s largest Jesus in November. Fucking Poland!
Just to re-cap, lets look at the scoreboard under the biggest Jesus category. USA: 0 , Poland: 1. Are you going to take that lying down Chri
stian America?!? As far as I’m concerned we can’t call this a real Christian nation if Poland has the largest Jesus. How can anyone?Christendom was built on the best is biggest principle. Like the Pope, whoever has the biggest hat gets to be in charge. (They won’t let you into the Vatican if your hat is bigger.) We need a bigger Jesus.
If you want this to be Christian nation again it is upon the Christians of America to rededicate themselves and bring honor back to this country. Currently that Polack Jesus is 108 feet tall - (Jesus didn’t use no metric system, why should we?)
I say we build a one thousand foot Jesus. Lets hold that record for all times. This time he should be animatronic. We’ve never had this kind of technology before. Maybe the new giant Jesus should do more than point down at the sinners. Let’s make it so he can talk with a big booming voice, “I am the big Jesus. You will bow down before me, sinners!!!” (I’ll work the mic.)
And then, once a day, as pilgrims gather at sunset, on the shore of a crystal lake in the mountains, the giant Jesus would scold everyone, pull down its pants, squat, and shit out a huge of steaming pile of loathing and shame. (mixed in with a little poop.) I imagine that pile would look and smell like Ann Coulter.
Please give generously to AnnCoulterSteamingPile.com.
Let’s bring Jesus back to this country.
3 comments:
Omigod, Tommy. I've been reading your posts, scrolling down and you are on a roll, my friend!
Good work! Tell it like it is. Pull no punches. There's been too much pussy-footing around the fact that the Roman Church is, at its core, rotten, and that the so-called "values" people in our Congress may have values, but they aren't the values decent people care about!
Great photos, too.
I finally did a write-up today on WikiLeaks...you might enjoy that.
Hope all is well!
Re:
"we lost touchdown Jesus due to daddy lightning."
You mean:
"we lost touchdown Jesus due to God's miracle of lightning."
I agree. I was "due to God's miracle of lightning."
Are you saying it's a miracle that God killed touchdown Jesus? I think so too.
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