Be Careful What You Wish For

When I was thirteen I began having a crisis of faith. At least that’s what I called it at the time. In reality it was more of a crisis of existence. I was stuck on the questions - What am I? What is this? What is going on? Reality made no sense. To a lesser degree it still doesn’t.

Those questions kept swirling around in my mind for well over a year. I would find myself praying to God, over and over, asking those same questions, over and over.

Be careful what you wish for.

By the time I turned fifteen I had resigned myself to never knowing these answers, but I took solace that no one else knew. It was about this time that I started having petite seizures. At the time I didn’t know what they were. Petite seizures are like little jolts of electricity that broke my train of thoughts and left me wondering what just happened. (I’d lose about two seconds of memory.) It was difficult covering up my lapses. People would be talking to me, and my head might twitch, but there was no outward sign that anything about me had changed. So when my response to our conversation wasn’t quite right, they would often regard me as insulting or aloof. A missing two or three seconds of any conversation left me putting together puzzles without all the pieces.

At the time I didn’t understand what I was experiencing. Imagine getting directions from someone and losing a couple of seconds: Zap. "What? Oh, sorry. Head down East third to . . ." Zap. "Okay, lets start again, head down East third. . ." - It’s a bit unnerving to say the least. And anyone you're talking to thinks you’re an asshole. Petite mal seizures would hit me nearly twenty times an hour - all day.

All the while this is going on, I continued to pester God, "What is going on?" "What am I" "What is this?" "How can this possibly be real?"

I didn’t have my first Grand Mal seizure until I was 18. Even then I didn’t understand what was going on. I woke up with a huge knot on my head where I had fallen. Only, I didn’t know that I had fallen. I didn’t know my own name. A full grand-mal is a truly jarring experience. Cascades of electricity shoot out of my brain, leaving me to fall, face first, wherever I am at the time. My muscles would tighten to their maximum tightness for the next four to ten minutes. It’s a hell of a workout. I would wake up feeling like I had run a marathon on my hands. Everything hurt. My toes hurt. And the soreness would go on for over a week.

Waking up from a grand mal is another test of endurance. A full blown seizure would leave me thinking - nothing. Not a thing. Like a computer overload, my brain was wiped. I had no memory of anything. Complete amnesia.

It’s a strange thing to have amnesia on a regular basis. There’s about three minutes when even the language center of my brain hasn’t kicked in. I can hear what people are saying to me, but nothing makes sense. It’s at these times I can’t even think in words. Just emotions and thoughts. Who am I? What am I? - I am fear. I am pain and suffering. I am panic.

The experience would leave me in total panic. The pain was from the bloody knot on my head from the fall. The suffering would come from my body after it’s marathon session of flexing. Panic would set in as people would be surrounding me, asking questions like, "are you alright?" "Who is our current president?" "Do you know what day of the week this is?"

I’m 46 years old now. Even on medication I had on average three grand mal seizures a year for over twenty years. Many, many, trips to the hospital. Not a lot of fun. And still, the worst part of epilepsy is the petite seizures. I still have those, although not as much as I use to.

But God answered my question. God came thru in the end. What are we? What is going on? Why are we here? What am I?

I followed the Buddhist path to enlightenment. Many years ago it occurred to me that what Buddhist monks were trying to accomplish through meditation, I had achieved through malady. Try this exercise yourself. Try not to think. Try to clear your mind of your own thoughts. It’s not an easy thing to do. After a grand mal seizure I had no thoughts. My brain was a clean slate. It’s the definition of amnesia.

I had trained myself to answer those dumb questions people asked after a seizure. Who is our President? What year is this? I had forced those answers into my brain, even without understanding what they meant. I would answer, "Clinton or Bush" without even understanding what a President was. I would tell them what year it was without knowing what a year was. Knowing this, I tried to force another first thought into my mind.

"Relax" "Breath" "Try not to think" "be one with the universe." "No pain." - - - Not an easy thing to do or think about when you wake up in extreme anguish. But, after a dozen or so grand mals, I achieve just that. I clearly remember the first time I touched oneness. I was in my father’s office when I woke up. I recognized the scene. Pain and suffering filled every inch of me. I tried to breath. I tried to relax. And then there I was. Everywhere.

Don’t let anyone try to sell you that oneness is like heaven. It’s not. My first experience was jarring and scarey. Oneness is like being hit by a train. It’s too much. Reality isn’t reality if you are not separate from it. Oneness loses your self. Which is still of consternation to me - it’s a hard thing to reconcile.

Subsequent visits to everything became manageable at least in a psychological sense. I slowly began to understand what I was experiencing and I achieved peace with it. I’ve told this story to friends and family - often falling on deaf ears. For those interested in the experience of oneness, I can only say, - - - don’t worry about it. There will be time enough for oneness when you are dead. Which leaves me shaking my head in dismay at the billions of sky pilots jabbering into heaven on this planet. I understand it. Those billions are me when I was 13. They are all asking, what am I?

If I took one thing away from the experience it’s that - - God doesn’t want us to spend our time praising her. God wants us to live. Also - God is everything and everyone.

Obviously I took away much more from my brief moments of oneness. I could spend days trying to relay the emotional impact of my religious experience but in the end, that’s what life is. Life is the journey to finding ourselves thru this reality. Trying to convey my journey is just one more story in your journey. Relish your path. Enjoy your existence while you have it. It won’t last forever.

SUPPORT YOUR POLICE, BEAT YOURSELF UP

I got to hand it to FCC Chairman Kevin Martin. He sat through the public and Congressional hearings, he listened intently, and after a thoughtful deep introspection, he told the public what we already knew. He had already made up his mind. The public hearings were a formality. Martin, you gotta have balls. Big freakin’ Stephen Colbert balls to act like that. I’m thinkin’ you were brainwashed by L. Ron Hubbard himself. What’s your thetan level? Is it just me, or does Kevin Martin give off a kind of ‘Children of the Corn’ vibe?

But fear not! There’s a whole slew of corporate Democrats will set things right. Focus groups have already approved their rhetoric, so don’t worry about what they might say; you won’t care anyway. All glory to the hypnotoad! All glory to the hypnotoad!

Picking a Corporate Democratic Candidate

I’m a little selfish when it comes to picking a candidate. My single criteria is to put Bush and his administration on trial. And not just any trial. We need one of those Italian style trials when they had hundreds of mafioso in cages surrounding the courtroom. When the guilty verdicts are handed down we’ll need a Running Man type game show to carry out the executions. If Cheney and Martin can make it through the maze of rabid baggers, they live another day. We’ll call it the General Electric’s Bagger Maze, featuring the Bud Lite dancers. - with a writer’s strike on I don’t see how they can say no.

What I’m basically saying is we need some sort of deterrent. We need some way of letting the criminals know things like this won’t be tolerated. Like Martha Stewart. One day the American people just rose up and said no to Martha’s reality. Calls were made and the tri-lateral commission handed down the verdict. Two weeks later she was indicted. It’s true. Alex Jones told me. Remember, if you read it on the internet, it has to be true.

2007. The year of the wide stance.

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2007/dec/27/pinellas-sheriffs-employees-punished-adultry/?news-breaking

I got a kick out of this one. Two Sheriff’s county employee’s were punished for having an affair. Not for just having sex. They were punished for adultery. Which makes me wonder what the punishment is for lusting after my neighbor’s wife. What’s the punishment for not keeping the Sabbath holy? If I’m not supposed to covet my neighbor’s slave, does that mean I have to force him to get a slave?

My Jihad on Christmas

Editor's note from 8/25/08: For some reason I’ve been receiving 10 times the usual number of hits on Basket of Puppies regarding George Hunter White, who I featured in a post last year at this time. If you’ve come to my blog in an effort to find info on the Hunter S. Thompson of law enforcement please send me an e-mail and tell me why you are interested. (One of the best resources is Wikipedia.) I love writing about George Hunter White. It's an incredible story and my curiosity is itiching to find out why he has recently become so popular. For those that don't know, White's personal writings and correspondence are available at Stanford - but can’t be checked out. They are only available for viewing in the library.

________________

It’s Christmas time, so lets talk about torture. It comes in two forms. Direct torture, i.e. water boarding, (which apparently needs to be video taped and then erased.) And then there is the mental kind. A good example is being assaulted by cheesy 1950's Christmas music, every year, year in- year out, until your Clockwork Orange brain sautes at the sound of Rudolph that fucking reindeer.

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer
- a television special - created by General Electric in 1964.

Some call it the television show that will never die. I pray they’re wrong. We need to break the cycle of abuse before we infect another generation with this cartoon madness. If the CIA kept a master copy of this at least we could hope it might be accidently erased. As it stands now, our grandchildren may be forced to watch this sick twisted tale; scaring them forever.


For those uninitiated, Rudolph is the story about a reindeer forced into exile by a psychotic toy maker who considers any physical abnormality as evil. Living in a frozen wasteland Santa keeps a slave army of little people toiling away building crappy wooden toys from the 1950's. Rudolph is befriended by another outcast, Hermey the Misfit Elf - who was shunned for preforming the evil art of dentistry. Apparently, Santa Claus, a/k/a Saint Nick, derives pleasure from denying his slaves proper dental care. Acceptance only comes for Rudolph when his abnormality becomes useful to the crazy old man. At the end of this ghoulishly animated television show, Santa and his slaves don’t deliver the toys. Instead, they just throw them out of the sleigh into the foggy night. It's a lot like Christmas in Dick Cheney’s home.

Rudolph is about the torture of spirit; a perfect allegory for Christmas itself. Thus, my jihad on Christmas. Bah-humbug.

Be assured, I don’t blame Christmas music on the recent rampage shootings across the country, but, like coal and global warming, it can’t possibly help.

For those of you that have not been indoctrinated into this twisted American Christmas, the song, The Little Drummer Boy illustrates what happens when you introduce a snare drum to a new born infant. Apparently, they love it. I know this sounds counter intuitive, but freshly born infants of all sorts coo love sounds when a snare drum snaps down a quick time beat next to their new born ears. It's a lot like Christmas in Dick Cheney’s home.

I have to confess that The Little Drummer Boy does hold a special place in my heart. But not for the song. Every Christmas I hug the memory of Bing Crosby singing it in a duet with David Bowie.



Looking at those two in the same room I am somehow reminded of when Elvis met Nixon. Or, maybe it’s more like the infamous kiss between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley. Either way, it leaves me with a weird creepy feeling like soiling yourself at your own birthday party.

I’m not sayin’ that Bing is a right wing nut, but knowing what we now know about the man, I can only assume he didn’t know who Bowie was before taping this. I like to imagine Bing’s reaction after learning that he sang a Christmas classic with one of those ‘god-damn hedonistic faggots.’ After Bing got home I can see him throwing a Citizen Kane type tantrum where he stamps around the room in a rage, knocking everything off the walls, pushing over all the furniture. His wife walks in on it all and he ends up beating her down while yelling, "Why didn’t you tell me he was a fruit?!?" Ah, Christmas memories. It does have a certain nostalgia.


Christmas Peer Pressure


My jihad finds legs when you consider the alternative to not believing in the Spirit of Christmas. In case you didn’t know, Christmas peer pressure inspired George Orwell to write 1984. It speaks to the bondage of the spirit and the body. Much in the same way free range breasts are forced to lives of solitude confined behind heavy wire support bras. A tragedy to their body, and my spirit. So, BELIEVE IN SANTA!!! BELIEVE IN SANTA!!!!

As a bazaar flavor to the mix this Christmas, Hallmark is marketing their newest line of singing Christmas cards by showing small families of Christmas carolers who opt for just giving the card instead of singing themselves. What makes the commercials ungodly weird is the laugh-out-loud reaction from the recipient of the card. Watching the card recipient cackle like they’ve never seen anything so funny, leaves me feeling like I was just raped by a Mentos ad.

Operation Midnight Climax


For me, Christmas renders billions of blinking colored lites which illuminate the psychotic tapestry of our culture and I can’t talk about the American Christmas tapestry without mentioning George Hunter White. In the 1950's and 60's old George worked for the Federal Narcotics Bureau which loaned him out to the CIA for Operation Midnight Climax - part of MK-ULTRA - where he ran the first national security whorehouse. Over the years our government bought him several whorehouses. He started in New York, but then moved to San Francisco. For ten years he would slip LSD into the drinks of Johns and whores alike while taking notes on it’s effects while they had sex. He sat on a toilet behind two way glass to watch his handywork while drinking heavily. He died in 1975 and his diaries and personal papers were bequeathed to Stanford University. I imagine they read like Hunter S. Thompson and Ann Coulter’s love child tried to write an translation of Mein Kampf without knowing German.

George Hunter White was well known for throwing lavish orgies over Christmas when he was in San Francisco. From what I’ve read, those were some impressive Christmas parties, but I never got a clear indication of wether he worked on that day also.

But that’s just a small part of his story. If you have the time, check it out.. . .It gets much weirder.

http://www.levity.com/aciddreams/samples/xrated.html

"I was a very minor missionary, actually a heretic, but I toiled wholeheartedly in the vineyards because it was fun, fun, fun. Where else could a red-blooded American boy lie, kill, cheat, steal, rape, and pillage with the sanction and blessing of the All-Highest?" - George Hunter White.

http://www.historyhouse.com/in_history/lsd/

My point in relaying the heartwarming Christmas story of George Hunter White, is that you can justify anything in the name of patriotism. It comes from a "them vs. us" paranoid mentality. This month, sponsored by the CIA.
I don’t think anyone will disagree with the fact that the CIA is excellent at blacking out documents and editing videos. You could say the CIA has a Phd in redaction, but recently they claimed unable to black out people’s faces on video and had to destroy torture tapes to protect the torturers identities.

Listening to their spokesman I’m reminded of the words of Navin Johnson, "He hates those cans!" I don’t care if the CIA destroyed evidence in a congressional inquiry. I care about the maniac firing the gun at me. Torture should never be used. The U.S. is powerful enough to survive without it.

The more I thought about the CIA’s position on this the more I wondered if that was the best lie they could come up with. I mean, if you’re going to lie, and you know everyone knows you are lying, why not swing for the fence?

Top ten torture tape lies if I was the CIA’s public relations officer:


We destroyed the torture tapes because. . .


10. Jesus told us to.
9. We felt it unprofessional for a torturer to make a pass at his victim.
8. Hello. My Name Is Inigo Montoya. You Killed My Father. Prepare to Die.
7. Your puny Congress has no real power. We can do whatever we want. Oh, wait. Is this microphone hot?
6. We believe, somehow, Jack Bower is involved.
5. I’ve been advised that these torture tapes were actually from the last war and scheduled for destruction five years ago. We’ve been a little busy since 9/11!!!!!!!
4. The tapes themselves were cursed. Anyone reading them would instantly turn into a Democrat. We couldn’t allow that kind of unchecked evil to spread.
3. VHS tapes are inherently unsafe. Taken apart from the cartridge, the tape can be used to bind victims into all sorts of stress positions and . .. uh. . .I’ve said too much.
2. We did it for the children.
1. You can’t handle the truth!!

A GOOD CON MAN IS NOT HARD TO FIND

Never, in the history of the world, has a wall or a fence worked to keep people out. Smuggling tunnels have been found all across our souther border for years. The entire ‘wall concept’ doesn’t work. A wall is just spending more money after bad. To make the wall work, we’d need half a trillion dollars, which is much more than this country loses from illegal immigrants. But for only 55 million dollars, Chris Simcox, founder and president of the Minuteman Defense Corps is going to get the job done.

If you read some of my other entries you many notice that I enjoy a good con game. A ‘good’ con game is when the victims are their own worst enemies. Chris did is what every good con man does. He sold the impossible dream. In his case, a 2,000 mile, 14ft high Israeli-style fence equipped with a moat, video cameras and razor wire to defend the U.S. from those horrible Mexicans looking for work. And the whole thing could be yours for 55 million dollars.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/11/07/border.fence/

To his credit, he knows his audience. Using the battle cry, ‘if our government won’t fix the problem, we’ll do it ourselves,’ he rased a huge amount of cash. When asked by his redneck, Billy-Bob Bubba minutemen employees where the money is being spent, he fired them. Phone calls to the Israeli fence company and other companies Simcox said he was affiliated with denied any knowledge of Simcox or the Minuteman Defense Corps.

This is actually one of the simplest and most effective cons ever devised. As owner of this cause, Chris can spend the money in promoting the cause, thereby allowing him to live lavishly in the pursuit of this promotion. He could effectively play this con for years because, by definition, it’s not against the law.

The victims of this con couldn’t be a sorrier bunch of som-bitch haters. I’ve lived in Texas my entire life and I’ve only known Mexican immigrants as hard working and decent people which is more than I can say about the white people I’ve known. For the Minutemen, Mexicans walking across their property in search of work are the pinnacle of the problems with this country. Not many thinkers in this bunch. http://www.minutemanhq.com/hq/

If you are wondering why I am so anti-Minutemen, there’s a story behind that. A few years ago I was in Eagle Pass, TX where I ran into a dozen of these morons in a local bar. They opened up to me when I told them I was a screen writer and bought a round of drinks. One of their best ideas, (according to the top thinker of the bunch) was to erect a series of automated towers around the border equipped with a sniper rifle and a high powered video cameras. They got the idea from the recent invention of internet hunting. The grand drunken idea was to hunt Mexicans. I shit you not. They actually thought it was a capitol idea to murder by remote control. All I could think of when they were telling me their brilliant plan was that crazy old man that lived in East Austin who shot a couple of teenagers that kept walking on his lawn.

So, Bravo!, Chris Simcox! You’re doing a fine job. As far as I’m concerned, you are a modern day Robin Hood. Taking money from racists doesn’t bother me so much. Although, you might want to consider building something bigger than a cow fence so you can show that you are actually spending some of the money on your cause. And you need to hire more illustrators to show what the fence will actually look like. There isn’t many readers in your audience.

Chris, I’m giving you my Krusty Brand Seal of Approval.

Mass Murderers, Serial Killers and Moon Towers

I originally planned for this to be my Halloween entry, but as usual, procrastination got the better of me.

I have lived in Austin Texas my entire life and it wasn’t until Halloween weekend that I found out why there are Moon Towers around this city. What’s a Moon Tower? Here’s an old picture.

The city of Austin built 31 of these things in 1884. There’s only 17 of them left now. What has always bothered me about these thing is ‘why’. Why, in 1884, would the city of Austin, with all 18,000 residents, spend what little money they had on these street lights?

The only answer I was getting on-line was that they were "built to reduce crime."

Since that wasn’t answering my questions I set off to the Austin History Center, located downtown next to the courthouse, to find the answer for myself. I confronted the clerk, and in a stern voice I demanded to know why this city has moon towers. The clerk showed me a web site that explains everything. Apparently I had forgotten that phones exist. Not to be outdone by my own incompetence, I pressed my investigation forward in the comfort of my own home. Here’s what I found:

Why did Austin build the Moon towers? Because of Jack the Ripper.

http://www.whatwasthen.com/ripper.htm

It’s the first documented serial killer in the U.S., known as the Servant Girl Annihilator - which could of very well been The Jack the Ripper. In 1884, the Ripper disappeared from London, and almost immediately a slew of similar grisly murders began occurring in Austin, Texas. At the same time a Ripper suspect arrived in town. What are the odds? And what would make a cook in London decide to move to Austin, Texas in 1884? Dramatic moves like that only means one thing. He was lookin’ not to be found.

From court TV’s crime library:
http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial_killers/history/servant_girl/10.html

"One suspect, who rarely gets mentioned by Ripperologists, was a Malay cook calling himself Maurice who often worked aboard ships. The London Times described him in October as a man who had threatened to kill White chapel prostitutes but who had then disappeared. It turned out that in 1885 he had been employed at the Pearl House, a small hotel, in Austin, Texas. A letter to the editor of the Statesman drew the newspaper's attention to it and a reporter checked it out. The information was confirmed, and it was ascertained that the cook had left the premises in January 1886. The series of murder had ended just weeks earlier. Most of the victims resided not far from the Pearl House."

In 1885 they erected the Moon Towers to assuage Austin’s population against a this serial killer. When Maurice left, the killings stopped.

Austin, it seems, has a long history of serial killers. Henry Lee Lucas, Miriam White, Susan Hey, Kenneth Allen McDuff, Robert Burns Springsteen Jr., Vaclav Plch, Regis Philbin - just to name a few off the top of my head. If we include the mass murderers like Charles Whitman, the sniper on the U.T. tower in 1963, and Dubya, it’s easy to fit Austin with a Bermuda triangle, OF MURDER!!! (Please remember when re-telling this story to over dramatize the last part.)

It’s strange that none of these murderers were born here in Austin. They just all seemed to gravitate here after Satan spawned them from somewhere else. Much like New York and Martha Stewart.

I’ve always thought of Austin as the eye of the hurricane in the middle of the swirling madness that is Texas. Sky pilots jabbering in heaven surround the Texas Triangle. Just East in Huntsville, our state is putting men to death in record numbers. South, in New Braunfels is the infamous Snake Farm. That’s "in famous." Next door, in Round Rock, you can find Pentecostal’s that dance with poisonous serpents sent by Satan. Also, "in famous", much like New York and Martha Stewart.

After much reflection I have decided that the imbalanced mind is drawn to the Austin area from the gravitational pull of other demented minds that converge on this location. The Texas Legislature meets every two years. And you, "will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." - Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Actually I’m a big of fan of my home town, but I can’t dismiss the notion that Austin may be the serial killer capitol of the world. I may not be the first person to realize Austin’s underground image. The Capitol City Volleyball Association down at the Austin Rec center has a team named the Austin Serial Killers. I imagine their main strategy is to have the girls show up covered in blood and carrying knifes; win by forfeit.

On another note:

I went down to Sixth street on Halloween and took a few pictures. This means only one thing. Christmas is coming, so I am hereby announcing my Jihad on Christmas. Santa, this year you’re going down!

Absurdity Rules!!! For the children!!!

One billion dollars for ‘abstinence only’ programs that don’t work.

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/abstinenceonly.htm
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/article/2007/04/13/AR2007041301003.html

Let’s put this concept in perspective.

Top 10 Dumbest things to spend money on

10. ____ Hunting quail that were raised in a pen and released mere seconds before they are shot. See our Vice President for information.
9. _____Premium gasoline
8. _____Body Thetan removal
7. _____Penlargement pills
6. _____Steven Segal movies
5. _____Betting on the Cowboys
4. _____Processing fees to release your Nigerian Lottery money
3. _____A free form jazz dance concert
2. _____Convincing teens not have sex
1. _____ N.A.M.B.L.A.

Add that to the Top 10 dumbest things to tell your children:

10. _____If you clap hard enough, Tinkerbell won’t die.
9. _____Don’t go swimming for an hour after eating
8. ______Easter is about the resurrection of our lord, now paint your colored eggs or the Easter bunny will kill us all.
7. _____Don’t let the cat near the baby!
6. _____You can’t have your pudding if you don’t finish your meat. How can you eat your pudding if you haven't finished your meat?
5. ______Because I said so.
4. ______Sex is bad. If you have sex, there’s a good chance that you will catch AIDS and die.
3. ______Don’t dig your finger in your belly button. In the back is a tiny screw that God put there. If you accidently un-screw it, your butt will fall off.
2. ______Every time you masturbate a puppy in doggy heaven is burned to death.
1. ______If you tell mommy your little brother could die.

It’s all in my book, "Tinkerbell died and now I only eat pudding." (Soon to be a major motion picture starring Vanessa Del Rio). On the top 10 lists they came in at #2 and #4. Add them together and you get 6. As in 6-6-6. The devil’s number. Think about it. Well, the Pat Robertson crowd would understand.

You can’t talk about abstinence only programs without talking about the golden age. The 1950's. Forever in the Republican mythos, blacks were barely citizens; those of the wrong religion were persecuted, as per Jesus’ explicit instructions, and anyone who dissented was immediately labeled as a communist. In the 1950's sex before marriage meant eternal damnation. It was easier to persecute the damned. All was perfect in the world. The 1950's became the Republican ideal and they’ve been searching for that promised land ever since. For a billion dollars they’d have a better chance of building a time machine.

On it’s face it seems such a strange concept; ‘Don’t have sex until you’re married.’ It’s as if their goal was to create an unhappy marriage. Holy rollers have traditionally handled this sexual incompatibility with the same deep insight used in handling homosexuality. From the 1950's sex ed propaganda film, You and Your High School Sweetheart: Narrator: "Discovering that you and your mate are sexually incompatible does happen. Luckily, if your mate was a virgin and inexperienced at sex she’ll be more suggestible when you send your wife to your pastor or a clergy member who will make her feel worthless and weak for not satisfying her man. Don’t worry. She’ll come around. It’s what Jesus wants. A happy marriage."

One billion dollars

I can’t get over the sensibility of not spending the money on real social programs. How many families can you house with a billion dollars? How many children can you save through expensive medical treatments? In a world where money is life, it’s a demented decision making process that values sexual propriety over health. When Pres. Bush vetoed SCHIP "for the children" my emotion chip overloaded my neural pathways creating a feedback loop which short circuited my internal Matrix. Before I knew it I found myself in a pod which was draining my energy to power the great machine city. "For the Children." Sigh.

Last night I went to see Austin’s own, Alex Jones. He was showing his new conspiracy theory movie at the Alamo Draft House. It’s called End Game. Jones was there, live and in person, to give a rant, uh, I mean give us a pep talk before the flick. You may not know this but the new world order is coming and we may soon we’ll all be rounded up into concentration camps. The guys in power want the population of the Earth to be around 500 million, so some people have to go. It’s like watching the Evangelical Christians pay money to Israel to help hasten the coming Apocalypse. What makes it sad is that believing in these fantasies is much more comforting than ‘for the children.’ Its like a warm security blanket of madness. As long as it make some kind of sense.

I myself prefer to paint my own delusions. In mine, the great wizard McAngus LaRue has placed a spell on the populace. A spell disbursed through churches. White is black. Up is down. All values of Jesus are reversed because the end times are coming.

I thought of including UFO’s and a pedophile science fiction writer but the Scientologist beat me to it. In my religion Bigfoot and the Dali Lama (big hitter the Lama) have joined forces with the Olson twins to fight the Tri-Lateral commission in a World Wrestling Federation cage match. Our side uses alien science to resurrect Andy Kaufman. For the fate of the world he’ll be wrestling the female clone of Bea Arthur in a no-holds barred, steel cage match. Two men enter. One man, uh, whoever, leaves. In the end it doesn’t matter who wins, just as long as they do it, ‘for the children.’ There. It all makes sense now. A warm enema of truthiness.

Colbert 2008! Colbert 2008! Colbert 2008! Colbert 2008! Colbert 2008! Colbert 2008! Colbert 2008! Colbert 2008!

The Breakfast Machine and the American Circus on acid

The Visa Toy Store ad

Has anyone noticed the music from the Visa toy store ad? It’s originally from “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.” It’s called “Breakfast Machine” by Danny Elfman. If you want to hear it:



I can’t think of a better theme song for the Bush administration. It needs to be played during every briefing. “Breakfast Machine” reflects our industrious nature while blending in a healthy dose of bat shit crazy. This music speaks to me. It says: We are America. The land of the free, and home to a three ring circus on acid.

I’m looking at you, Fox news.

Last blog entry I did “freaky weird crazy.” This time I thought I’d tackle “Bat Shit Crazy.”

Bat Shit Crazy

“Bat shit crazy” was originally termed regarding those infected with bat guano rabies. In Austin, Texas, bats are it. Our hockey team is called the Austin Ice Bats. Yes, we have a hockey team, and yes, that’s a dumb-ass name. We have a bat hospital: http://www.austinbathospital.com/ which is nearing 12 years old. (I wonder if they’ll have a bat mitzvah.) We even have a monument to the bat. All this bat-a-monium is because Austin is home to the largest urban bat community in the world. Located downtown, underneath the Ann Richard’s bridge, there are over two million Mexican free tail bats.

To comprehend ‘b.s. crazy’ you need to understand the degree of severity. Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch doesn’t make the cut. Think more in terms of 20 naked Pentecostals in a Pontiac.

http://www.skepticfiles.org/atheist/20-nudeg.htm


In August of 1993 police in Vinton, Lousiana pulled over the naked Pentecostal’s who were told by God to: “rid yourself of your clothing and go to Louisiana.” “The devil was after them and Floydada, Texas (it’s near Lubbock) was going to be destroyed if they stayed there.” What makes it funny is the naked reverend and his congregation tried to run from the cops and later hit a tree. No one was hurt. Twenty people - five kids in the trunk - emerged from that wreck without a stitch of clothing. The sight must of been clown car surreal. I honestly can’t figure out how they did it. On its face, it doesn’t seem possible.

On its face, it doesn’t seem possible that our vice-President would get drunk and shoot a lobbyist in the face while hunting for birds that have already been caught, but there it is, bat shit crazy. “B.S. crazy’ often comes with delayed punch line. The Pentecostal’s punch line came when a semi-famous country song relayed their naked adventure to millions. In the case of Cheney, the delayed punch line arrived when the victim actually apologized for being shot in the face. (That never stops being funny.)

In June, Gary Aldridge, died of autoerotic asphyxiation.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1008072scuba1.html

He was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves, slippers, rubberized underwear, a head mask, two ties, five belts and eleven straps, according to the autopsy report. He also had a dildo covered with a condom that he had inserted into his own anus. As Pee Wee would say, “Ruber-ee.” Another scuba related fashion death. When will they learn!?!

Oddly enough, strangling yourself in a rubber suit only reaches the ‘freaky weird crazy’ standard. ‘Bat s. crazy’ is only in effect when Gary Aldridge turns out to be a pillar of the community and a Baptist minister to a large congregation in Alabama. Take a ride on my “Republican Culture of Corruption” to better understand.

If ‘b.s. crazy’ was incorporated, a major stockholder would have to be Michael Jackson. Lately, Jacko has been negotiating to have a fifty foot robotic replica of himself walk around the Vegas desert firing lasers from its fingers. http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/41620594 Needless to say, I am already assembling a crack team of drunken nare-do-wells to kidnap this ego bot and hold it for ransom. If things go according to plan, Jacko will hold his soon to be famous, “please don’t hurt him” press conference at the exact moment we set it on fire and drop it from 20 thousand feet. It has to be done. Who’s with me?!?! Aaaaaaaaa! (This is where I run out of the room like Bluto in Animal House.)

On the lighter side, ‘b. s. crazy’ goes hand in hand with the second funniest things ever.

Top 2 Funniest Things Ever

I can’t mention the second funniest thing ever without mentioning Number 1. Coming in at number one: Pres. George Bush, Sr. vomiting on the Japanese Prime Minister.



The inherent comedy of world leaders vomiting on one another seems bi-partisan, but my petitions to the History channel to immortalize this moment with its own documentary have sadly gone unanswered. Apparently, appreciation for this glorious nexus of puke and politics doesn’t “do it” for the snobs at the History channel.

What’s the protocol for our top guy vomiting on your top guy? A hundred years ago things like this would of been a prelude to war. In the end, we all paid a hefty price for that vomit. It was because of this diplomatic incident that American children were infected with Pokemon. The Bush administration tried to retaliate with the Barney, the purple dinosaur, but we were thoroughly trounced when the Japanese counter attacked with Yu-Gi-Oh! and the Power Rangers. Fifteen years later, Abu Ghraib. Why doesn’t the History Channel return my phone calls?

Coming in at #2 on the list of funniest things ever is Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondence Dinner. Wow! If you haven’t seen this, please take the time.

On a personal note: Stephen, if you have been Googling your own name and read this; Oh, my God!!! You have balls as big as Texas. I salute you.

Click here for Stephen Colbert at the 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner

The delayed punch line to Colbert’s speech came a year later when Bush personally selected Rich Little to be the keynote speaker. Rich Little?!? Bush’s choice to replace Colbert gives us a excellent insight into our President’s psyche. You don’t have to be clairvoyant to guess how the conversation went:

“Uh, Mr. President?”
“Yes, Turd Blossom.”
“Uh, yeah. You remember when you told us to never to mention that comedian’s name, from the correspondence dinner?”
“Is he dead yet?”
“Oh, no, Mr. President. But in the meantime, I’m afraid that if we hire a comedian for this year’s correspondence dinner he might try to ‘out-do’ the previous host.”
“You’re right. We need someone that is really funny but may be dead. How about Rich Little?”
“Perfect choice, as always, Mr. President.”

‘Bat shit crazy’ is thinking Rich Little is funny. Add that to my ‘freaky weird crazy’ and you get a President who has boldly gone where no man has gone before. (Much like Bush’s self mandated mission to Mars.) I haven’t figured out what to call it yet. ‘Lunatic, panty waste, nut job crazy’ doesn’t quite fit. Feel free to e-mail suggestions.

(Please make a note: two million rabid bats under the Ann Richard’s bridge are less than a mile from Bush’s former home, the Texas Governor’s mansion.) Atticus Fitch would know what to do.

FREAKY WEIRD CRAZY

I can’t think of our President without thinking of Gerald Caldwell. I was 13. My brother was 11. Gerald was that really weird kid that lived down the street. He was more than socially awkward. Gerald was weird freaky strange. Not spastic or goofy. More of a dweeb.

1974 in Austin Texas: Drunk driving was legal if you didn’t throw up on the officer; signing bonus' for U.T. Longhorn football players was a new car, and kids out of school for the summer roamed the neighborhood at night harassing the late night tennis players at the park near our homes. In retrospect, operation "lights’ out" seemed simple enough.

Usually we were Indians. On "The Night of Gerald Caldwell" we were ninjas. Behind the tennis courts was a jungle of tall weeds and bushes, all skillfully navigated by our ninja skills aided by our smaller than average size. Between the courts and the jungle was the light switch for the tennis courts. Early incarnations of operation "light's off" involved a long string, stealthily attached to the switch, pulled remotely from behind our camouflage. Now that we were older, strings were for wimps. If you were fast enough you could cover the ten feet of open ground and be gone before the player’s eyes could adjust to the sudden darkness.

Through stealth and guile we would maneuver the high weeds; wait patiently for the players to turn away, and then our cat like reflexes would take over. Who turned off the lights? There’s nobody there. It must be a ghost. We were masters of the night.

Gerald’s introduction to the night ninjas was an overwhelming success. We met up after the highly planned and brilliantly executed mission behind the elementary school. Gerald was in overload. Howls of laughter and electric adrenaline captured Gerald’s emotions like he was smoking crack.

"It’s my turn next. It’s my turn next. Let’s do it again. Let’s do it again." Everything he said, he said twice.

We thought it was fun that Gerald was vibrating, laughing and crying. The lights took about two minutes to warm back up. Smiles lit up our faces as we heard the sounds of rackets and balls starting up again. My brother and I had misgivings about the new ninja, but his energy won us over. This time, it was Gerald’s mission.

Little did we know that Gerald still had not understood the concept. It was simple. Turn off the lights. Run and hide. No, he didn’t get it, at all.

Once again we crawled on our bellies through the toughest high grass and bushes central Texas could throw at us. Other ninjas would of given up or turned back against such incredible obstacles. We were danger seekers. Living on the razor’s edge.

I first noticed something amiss when Gerald’s ninja skills seemed more like those of a robot. He walked out of the foliage, stood next to the light pole, and hit the off switch. No stealth. No running. No anything. Gerald just stood there, laughing like a hyena and pointing at the couple playing tennis.

"Hey. Did you turn off that light?"

"Haw! Haw! Haw! Oh, I got you! I got you!!"

My brother and I are in freak out. "Come on! Run! Run! What are you doing?!?"

Gerald just stood there. The tennis player told him to "cut it out" and pushed him away from the pole before turning it back on. In a few minutes they started playing again. My little brother is latched onto my arm and can’t stop saying, "Hole-ly crap."



Click.


Gerald hits the lights again and starts laughing. My brother and I have pulled back to the edge of our super secret escape route. We can’t see as well, but we can hear just fine. Screams of obscenities and threats were met by Gerald’s hyena laughter. This time he was pushed all the way out into the parking lot. A few minutes pass and play begins again.



Click.

"Hole-ly crap!" Out of reflex we’ve pulled back to the top of the hill which overlooked the tennis courts. We could see just fine but usually from this distance you can’t hear much. Since everyone was yelling, we could hear just fine. The woman who had been playing had joined in. She starts swinging her racket at the Gerald, acting like she’s going to crown him if he does it again. In a last ditch effort, the man grabs Gerald by the upper arm and shakes him like drunk English nanny. I distinctly remember Gerald’s huge noggin whipping forward and back like a Pez dispenser. His arm looked like it nearly dislocated from his shoulder. It was violent move. Gerald stopped laughing. He staggered around the parking lot while my brother continued to chant, "hole - ly - crap!" over and over again. The lights came back on and the couple slowly played, distracted as they tried to keep an eye on the odd kid in the parking lot.



Click.


Horror filled the moment. We couldn’t believe he did it again. And then he just stood there. Laughing. We couldn’t hear what they said, but when the woman pointed her racket at us and the man turned to look, that was are cue. We bolted and operation "light's out" was abandoned and never revisited. The adrenaline surge that previously filled Gerald had been transferred to us. We didn’t get to sleep until the early hours of the morning and spent the time dissecting the events in the sanctity of our bedroom. "Why did he do that? Did you see that? Should we go back? We got to go back, just to see if there’s any blood. That guy might kill him."

In the end we finally went to sleep and checked for blood in the morning. We saw Gerald a week later. He just laughed and asked what happened to us.

Gerald was a freaky kind of weird crazy. There’s only been one other person that was that freaky weird crazy.














Long live the night ninjas!

Suck it Jesus. Con men, Hoaxes, Censorship and Grifter Extraordinaire, William Donohue

I love stories of Con-games and hoaxes almost as much as I like stories about Censorship.

Let’s all take a moment to thank the Christian crusader, the Pinnacle of Puritanical Piety, William Donohue of the Catholic League. (And I hear he looks sexy in a bathing suit.) Once again he has anointed his Catholic seal of disapproval, this time on Kathy Griffin and her now infamous ‘Suck it Jesus" speech at the Emmy’s. Donohue called to "denounce Griffin’s obscene and blasphemous comment." Good for you Donohue. That’ll teach her, all the way to the bank. She’ll be crying herself to sleep tonight on her big pile of money. Can’t you take the time to denounce me or this blog?

When I heard ‘suck it Jesus’ I was immediately reminded of the painting September Morn. In 1913 publicist Harry Reichenbach engineered the perfect hoax which sold millions of prints of a nude called September Morn. He tricked Anthony Comstock, head of the Anti-Vice Society and arch-angel of virtue and decency, to denounce the painting as vulgar and corrupting to our youth. (It helps if a bunch of kids are paid to be on the street ogling the picture when Comstock just happened to arrive.) Comstock complaints were printable money for Reichenbach. Everyone had to go see for themselves, and then buy, the pornographic painting that was corrupting our youth.

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/Hoaxipedia/September_Morn/

It doesn’t matter how true the September Morn story is, for this latest incarnation please make a note in your programs; the role of Anthony Comstock will be played by William Donohue of the Catholic League. Amen.

Ms. Griffin would be the first to admit to playing the Jesus card to her advantage. Thanks to Fox News and Donohue, she is all over the media and ‘suck it Jesus’ is probably already being made into a music video on Youtube.com. The censorship has also spawned suckitjesus.com which has already collected over 6400 signatures for a censorship petition. Which only makes me want to create a petition to censor the censorship petition. Who’s with me? We’ll call it "suck-it, suck-it-Jesus dot com." But I’m only going to do it if someone with start another web site tries to censor mine.

If I had to name my favorite hoax it would be the Society of the Indecency to Naked Animals. Or SINA for short. Last night you could of seen Buck Henry on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. After he wrote The Graduate, Heaven can Wait, and To Die For, he became a regular on Saturday Night Live. His greatest role may of been in 1959 when Buck Henry played G. Clifford Prout.

With the help of comedian Alan Abel, Buck Henry proclaimed himself G. Clifford Prout, and denounced the indecency of naked animals. Buck, Alan, if you’re reading this, well done. This is, by far, my favorite hoax. As an endorsement for their fake cause, Buck and Alan were offered thousands of dollars in donations - (which they turned down.) The hoax lasted. SINA wasn’t exposed until Buck was featured on the CBS news and interviewed by Walter Cronkite. Amen. http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/sina.html

I am particularly fond of their anthem:

High on the wings of SINA / we fight for the future now;
Let's clothe every pet and animal / whether dog, cat, horse or cow!
G. Clifford Prout, our President / he works for you and me,
So clothe all your pets and join the march / for worldwide Decency!
S.I.N.A., that's our call / all for one and one for all.
Hoist our flag for all to see / waving for Morality.
Onward we strive together / stronger in every way,
All mankind and his animal friends / for SINA, S.I.N.A.!

I’m also a sucker for a good con-game story. I marveled when my uncle relayed tales of his youth. The Mayor use to give him a bat, ten dollars and a six pack of beer for him and his friends to drive through the neighborhoods at night and play mailbox baseball. As the owner of the only hardware store in a small town, for the Mayor, it was money in the bank.

Victor Lustig - also a great story. He sold and then re-sold the Eiffel Tower in 1925 - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Lustig. He told a bunch of scrap metal dealers that Paris was planning to get rid of the Eiffel Tower, and asked if they like to bid on the secret contract. The con worked because the scrap dealers thought they were cheating the government. Greedy victims leaves the audience short on empathy for their injustice.

But what if the victim isn’t greedy? What if you are the victim of mailbox baseball? Now the story isn’t so much fun as it is sad. Donohue is sad like that. He makes a habit of denouncing how people make their money. Regarding Trey Parker and Matt Stone who make South Park:

"Like little whores, they'll sit there and grab the bucks. They'll sit there and they'll whine and they'll take their shot at Jesus. That's their stock and trade."

If I had to compare the piousness of Donohue’s paychecks which comes from little old ladies who fear death, whore money seems ethically cleaner. At least whores work for a living. Sans-Jesus, there’s something inherently dishonest about a spokesman for God. So say-ith the Lord. Amen. Hallelujah.

The last time I heard anyone accuse the Catholic church of truthiness was when they would offer up Indulgences. Simple and easy. Money for redemption. Deal done. They even gave you a fancy certificate you could show God, verifying that your sins have been erased. They were honest about their dishonesty. With the pedophile train stopping at every church, they seems more dishonest about their honesty. Amen.

Other con games don’t bother me so much. Comedian Joe Rogan does a biting bit about penis enlargement pills. Joe argued that if big dick pills really existed, every man in American would be walking around with shopping cart to carry their gigantic penis. How can anyone not know that penis enlargement pills don’t work? (Don’t penises’ enlarge themselves?) Victims of big dick pills isn’t "a fool and his money are soon parted." This is more of a, "Hey, this vegetable has some money laying on it." Hallelujah.

I love: "Is my baby gay?" For twenty dollars, and some of your baby’s saliva, they’ll test the DNA and let you know if your baby is gay. http://www.ismybabygay.com/ If you have used this service and now feel bad for being conned, you are so gay. Amen.

I can go on-and-on about UFO’s. Not because I think it’s a hoax, but because it’s a great story. And if you don’t believe the story, I’ve got pictures. And if you think those are fake, I’ve got video. It doesn’t matter if it’s real or not, the value of UFO’s lay in its story. 9/11 conspiracy? Disturbing, and a great story. Devil baby of Houston? Great bullshit story. William Donohue? That’s just sad. If I had to evaluate Mr. Donohue’s faith, I’d have to say it’s a con-game built on a hoax. Now that’s a story. Amen.

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Republican Culture of Corruption - an extended list

BE AWARE - THIS LIST HAS BEEN UPDATED WITH FULL LINKS AT:

http://www.republicanoffenders.com/

REPUBLICAN OFFENDERS.COM

• JACK ABRAMOFF
  

From Wikipedia:
Abramoff pleaded guilty on January 3, 2006, to three criminal felony counts in a Washington, D.C., federal court related to the defrauding of American Indian tribes and corruption of public officials. The following day he pleaded guilty to two criminal felony counts in a separate federal court, in Miami, related to his fraudulent dealings with SunCruz Casinos.

On March 29, 2006, he was sentenced to five years and ten months in prison and ordered to pay restitution of more than $21 million. His prison sentence was the minimum permitted under a plea bargain with federal prosecutors, in part because of his purported cooperation in the federal investigation. In October 2006, more than six months after his sentencing, he was ordered by a federal judge to report to federal prison by November 15, 2006.

List of participants caught up in the Abramoff investigation
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Abramoff_timeline

● Rep. Bob Ney (R-OH) On September 15, 2006, the Justice Department filed Ney's guilty pleas to a charge of conspiracy to defraud the United States and to a charge of falsifying financial disclosure forms. For involvement with Abramoff, Kidan, and DeLay, Indian casino money laundering. Recipient of contributions from Abramoff and Kidan. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ney

● David Hossein Safavian Chief of staff of the United States General Services Administration (GSA) and convicted criminal in the Jack Abramoff lobbying and corruption scandal. Convicted of lying & obstruction of Justice. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Safavian

● Bernie Kerik - At Giuliani's recommendation, President George W. Bush nominated Kerik for Homeland Security secretary in 2004In 2006, Kerik pled guilty to two unrelated ethics violations after an investigation by the Bronx District Attorney's Office, and was ordered to pay $221,000. He is currently under federal scrutiny for tax evasion. In addition, a Daily News“investigation revealed that Kerik accepted cash and gifts from Interstate Industrial, an allegedly mobbed-up construction company.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Kerik

● Ralph Reed - Reed, a Bush Pioneer (2000), Ranger (2004) and prominent Republican lobbyist, is being investigated because of a $4 million payment that Abramoff made to Reed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ralph_E._Reed%2C_Jr.#Indian_gambling_scandals

● Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet. Director of Faith & Family Alliance, (a Christian Coalition spin off), former student of Pat Robertson's Regent University, member of Ralph Reed's inner circle who funneled money to from lobbyist Jack Abromoff to Reed, convicted in Virginia for soliciting sex from a 13-year-old-boy and on four other counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet. Virginian-Pilot Article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Abramoff_timeline

● Sen. Conrad Burns - Former Sen. Burns was the largest recipient of Abramoff-related money in the U.S. Senate, and made calls urging the Department of Interior to award federal grants to an Abramoff client. That effort failed and Burns later inserted an earmark directing the grant in an appropriations bill. Is currently being investigated. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5299944
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conrad_Burns#Abramoff_and_tribal_contributions

● The FBI raids the home of Republican Congressman John Doolittle, investigating his ties to Jack Abramoff. April 18, 2007: Pays his wife 15% commission for fundraising for his own reelection campaigns. During the last two election cycles, she has received this commission for every dollar raised, and in total has been paid nearly $180,000 so far. Also, Jack Abramoff and his clients have given tens of thousands of dollars to Doolittle and his wife. http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-doolittle5sep05,1,1445641.story?coll=la-headlines-nation

● Roger Stillwell - “Stillwell, a former Interior Department official, was sentenced to two years on probation in January after pleading guilty to a misdemeanor charge for not reporting hundreds of dollars worth of sports and concert tickets he received from Abramoff.”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16541877/

● The FBI questions Republican Congressman Tom Feeney about his dealings with Jack Abramoff. Probed for corporate ties to Yang Enterprises, involved in over billing state of Florida. Feeney was Jeb Bush’s 1994 running mate for Lt. Gov.
April 23, 2007: http://www.sptimes.com/2007/08/29/Opinion/_Feeney_sinks_further.shtml

● Republican - Mark Zachares is a former Congressional aide to Rep. Don Young (R-AK) and lobbyist who pleaded guilty to accepting tens of thousands of dollars in gifts from lobbyist Jack Abramoff, in return for using his position in Congress to advance Abramoff's interests. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Zachares

● Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA) Tied to Abramoff scandal on loan papers. Recipient of contributions from Abramoff.

● Rep. Roy Blunt, House Majority Leader (R-MO). Investigated for trading illegal PAC money with DeLay through Blunt's Rely on Your Beliefs Fund. Received Indian casino money from tribes represented by Abramoff.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Blunt#Ties_to_Tom_DeLay

● Former Deputy Interior Secretary J. Steven Griles, an oil and gas lobbyist who became an architect of George W. Bush's energy policies, pleads guilty to obstructing justice by lying to a Senate committee. March 23, 2007: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._Steven_Griles ttp://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17753123/

● Tony Charles Rudy - Republican lobbyist, associate of Abramoff. Rudy pleaded guilty to one charge of conspiracy and agreed to cooperate with investigators. Tom DeLay and Bob Ney are identified in the plea. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Rudy

● Rep. Dennis Hastert, Speaker of the House (R-IL) Republican. Held a fundraiser at Jack Abramoff's Signatures restaurant in Washington on June 3, 2003, that collected at least $21,500 for his Keep Our Majority political action committee from the Abramoff's firm and tribal clients. Seven days later, Hastert wrote Interior Secretary Gale Norton, urging her to reject the Jena tribe of Choctaw Indians' request for a new casino. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennis_Haster#Support_for_Turkey

● Gov. Ernie Fletcher (R-KY). Criminal probe in a state employees’ merit system scandal. Received contributions from DeLay’s ARMPAC, linked to Abramoff. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Fletcher

● Jim Ellis, Director Americans for a Republican Majority (ARMPAC) PAC (R-TX) Tied to DeLay and Abramoff, indicted. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Ellis_%28politics%29

● John Colyandro, Texans for a Republican Majority (TRMPAC), DeLay associate (R-TX) Indicted. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Colyandro

● Warren RoBold, Lobbyist and DeLay associate (R-TX) Indicted. http://www.dccc.org/stakeholder/archives/003355.html

● Republican. Interior Department, Roger G. Stillwell bribed by Abramoff. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roger_Stillwell


TOM DELAY
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_DeLay_corruption_investigation

● Rep. Tom DeLay, House Majority Leader (R-TX) Probed for campaign finance fraud, ties to Abramoff/Kidan, Saipan sweat shops. Grand Jury, Travis County prosecutor, and House Ethics Committee probing DeLay. Indicted by Travis County District Attorney for 1 count of criminal conspiracy and 2 counts of money laundering. Arrested and booked at Harris County jail October 20, 2005. Recipient of contributions from Abramoff.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_DeLay_corruption_investigation

● Republican Michael Scanlon, former chief of staff to Tom DeLay. Being probed for involvement in Indian casino scandal with Abramoff, Kidan, and DeLay. Indicted Nov. 18, 2005 for conspiracy to defraud Indian tribes. Pleaded guilty Nov. 21. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Scanlon
List of participants caught up in the DeLay investigation

● Rep. Bob Ney (R-OH) Being probed for involvement with Abramoff, Kidan, and DeLay, Indian casino money laundering. Recipient of contributions from Abramoff and Kidan. Indictment may be imminent. (see earlier entry)

● Bob Ney's chief of staff , William Heaton, one count of conspiracy to commit fraud. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Heaton

● Republican’s Jim Ellis, ARMPAC's executive director. Money laundering as well as 13 counts of unlawful acceptance of a corporate political contribution. Money laundering charges stem from $190,000 in corporate funds that were sent to the Republican National Party http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A39563-2004Sep21.html

● Republican John Colyandro, former executive director of Texans for a Republican Majority (TRM), Money laundering as well as 13 counts of unlawful acceptance of a corporate political contribution. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A39563-2004Sep21.html

● Gov. Ernie Fletcher (R-KY). Criminal probe in a state employees’ merit system scandal. Received contributions from DeLay’s ARMPAC, linked to Abramoff. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Fletcher

● Rep. Roy Blunt, House Majority Leader (R-MO). Investigated for trading illegal PAC money with DeLay through Blunt's Rely on Your Beliefs Fund. Received Indian casino money from tribes represented by Abramoff.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Blunt#Ties_to_Tom_DeLay

CORRUPTION, BRIBERY

● Montana Gubernatorial candidate Pat Davison sentenced to the maximum of 10 years in federal prison. Davison pled guilty to two charges of federal securities fraud after the U.S. Attorney's office says that he defrauded at least 13 victims of $6.8 million. http://www.montanasnewsstation.com/global/story.asp?s=6785153&ClientType=Printable

● Senate President Ben Stevens (R-AK) In a court ruling this week, a federal judge identified former state Senate President Ben Stevens as an alleged co-conspirator in a bribery scheme involving legislators and oil field services contractor Veco Corp. Subject to a recall petition. Son of US Senate Pro Tem President Ted Stevens. http://www.adn.com/front/story/9263029p-9177910c.html

● Republican former Jefferson County, Colorado, Treasurer Mark Paschall indicted on two felony charges "in connection with an allegation that Paschall solicited a kickback from a bonus he awarded one of his employees" January 29, 2007: http://co.jefferson.co.us/news/news_item_T3_R472.htm

● Michael Hooks, Sr, chairman Shelby County Commission Charged with taking more than $24,000 in bribes to help a company called E-Cycle Management - a sham company set up by the FBI - win business contracts with Shelby County government. http://www.wreg.com/Global/story.asp?S=3784361

● Sam Wyly, Charles Wyly - “According to news reports Sam and Charles Wyly, better known as the "Wyly Brothers" are under investigation for tax evasion. In early 2005 Michaels Stores Inc. revealed that U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission and the New York County District Attorney were investigating the stock transactions of Charles and Sam Wyly, the company's President and Vice-President. The Billionaire Bush patrons are accused of setting up offshore trusts on the Isle of Man, a noted tax shelter in the Irish Sea, in an attempt to evade paying taxes on stock options. [Dallas Morning News, 6/4/05]”
http://www.buzzflash.com/alerts/05/06/ale05085.html

● Mel Martinez - A FEC audit found the Martinez campaign failed to properly disclose $162,000 in contributions. http://blogs.tampabay.com/buzz/2006/08/martinezs_audit.html

● Katherine Harris - Former Rep. Harris accepted $32,000 in illegal contributions from MZM Inc.’s President Mitchell Wade. She then requested tens of millions in earmarks that would benefit Wade. Wade later pleaded guilty to making illegal campaign contributions, in addition to conspiracy, corruption and election fraud. Harris maintained that she did not know the contributions were illegal and lost her race for Senate in 2006.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/24/AR2006022401737.html

● Michael Aaron Lay - Coordinator in Congressman Patrick McHenry's (R-NC) 2004 campaign. Indicted for voter fraud in North Carolina, voting twice for Congressman McHenry. http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2007/05/11/primarysource/entry2793560.shtml

● Republican Rep. Gary Miller - Is Currently under investigation by the FBI for an inappropriate land deal which made him $10 million. http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/rep.-gary-miller-in-senior-perch-is-part-of-fbi-probe-2007-01-31.html

● Rep. Don Young (R-AK) - Federal officials are investigating a number of allegations against Young, including his ties to Veco, an Alaska company who’s CEO pleaded guilty to bribery, as well as contributions connected to a Florida highway and a transportation measure benefitting a Wisconsin trucking company. http://www.tpmmuckraker.com/archives/003996.php

● Republican Claude Allen - “Allen, who had been Bush's domestic policy adviser, pleaded guilty to theft in making phony returns at discount department stores while working at the White House. He was sentenced to two years of supervised probation and fined $500.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/08/04/AR2006080400919.html

● Republican Robert T. Schofield - Schofield “pleaded guilty to accepting at least $600,000 in bribes to provide fraudulent citizenship documents to hundreds of Asian immigrants.” http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/30/AR2006113000603.html

● Edmund Matricardi III, former executive director of the Republican Party of Virginia. Pled guilty to one federal felony count of wiretapping yesterday, a week before he was to go on trial for eavesdropping on Democratic conference calls...charged with five counts stemming from his listening to and taping two different conference calls in which Democrats discussed strategy in their lawsuit against the new legislative districts Republicans drew in 2001. http://fl1.findlaw.com/news.findlaw.com/hdocs/docs/matricardi/usmatricardi103ind.pdf

● Former Republican Memphis City Schools Commissioner , Michael Hooks Jr. Four criminal counts related to the ongoing public corruption probe known as Operation Tennessee Waltz. The indictment says between March 2, 2001, and Dec. 26, 2001, Hooks, Jr., along with FBI informant Tim Willis and former juvenile court employee Darrell Catron, conspired to embezzle or obtain by fraud property that was valued at $5000 or more that was owned by or under the care, control, or custody of the Shelby County Juvenile Court Clerk's Office of Shelby County, Tennessee. http://wreg.com/Global/story.asp?S=5055283&nav=menu93_2_5

● Michael Tristano, chief of staff to State Rep. Lee A. Daniels, when Daniels served as House Republican Leader and Minority Leader in the state House of Representatives. Indicted for diverting state employees to campaign work. May 19, 2005 http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/local_story_139113539.html

● Republican Chief of Staff Peter Ellef : Bribery - Rowland administration corruption scandal http://www.newhavenindependent.org/archives/2006/04/wizard_of_oz_ge.php

● Kenneth Tomlinson (Republican) Former Head of CPB, under investigation. He currently served as the chairman of the Broadcasting Board of Governors, which manages Voice of America radio. According to The New York Times, there is an ongoing inquiry concerning possible criminal misuse of federal money by Tomlinson. Investigators at the Corporation for Public Broadcasting said on 15 November 2005 "that they had uncovered evidence that its former chairman had repeatedly broken federal law and the organization's own regulations in a campaign to combat what he saw as liberal bias." According to the New York Times, State Department investigators determined in 2006 that he had "used his office to run a 'horse racing operation'," that he "improperly put a friend on the payroll," that he "repeatedly used government employees to perform personal errands," and that he "billed the government for more days of work than the rules permit." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Tomlinson

● Republican Connecticut Gov. John Rowland. Convicted, imprisoned 2004. Rowland plead guilty to stealing honest service. Rowland was sentenced on March 18, 2005, in New Haven, Connecticut to one year and one day in prison, four months house arrest, three years probation and community service. On April 1 he entered the Federal Correctional Institution in Loretto, Pennsylvania. His Federal inmate number was 15623-014.

● The FBI and IRS raid the home of Republican Senator Ted Stevens following investigations into Stevens' dealings with the corrupt VECO Corporation. July 30, 2007: http://www.ktuu.com/Global/story.asp?S=6997143

● A grand jury report declares that the sale of public land to Republican Congressman Ken Calvert and his business partners violated the law. In September 2006, Calvert was named one of the "20 Most Corrupt Members of Congress" in a report by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington. Champion of the Christian Coalition and its "family values." Sued as an alimony deadbeat by his ex-wife. Said "We can't forgive what occurred between the President and Lewinsky." In 1993 he was caught by police receiving oral sex from a prostitute and attempted to flee the scene. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ken_Calvert

● Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham (R-CA) Probed for bribery regarding financial ties with and favors for defense firm MZM. He pleaded guilty to federal charges of conspiracy to commit bribery, mail fraud, wire fraud, and tax evasion. On March 3, 2006, he received a sentence of eight years and four months in prison and an order to pay $1.8 million in restitution. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_%22Duke%22_Cunningham

● Bruce Weyhrauch former Alaska state Republican legislator, was arrested and accused of soliciting and accepting bribes from the corrupt VECO Corporation. May 4, 2007: http://www.ktuu.com/Global/story.asp?S=7024205

● Pete Kott, former Alaska state Republican legislator, was arrested and accused of soliciting and accepting bribes from the corrupt VECO Corporation. May 4, 2007: http://www.ktuu.com/Global/story.asp?S=7024205

● Republican Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons for suspicion of accepting bribes in exchange for securing government contracts. May 12, 2007: http://news.rgj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070821/NEWS04/708210353/1007/NEWS

● Former Republican Gov. George Ryan of Illinois on 18 corruption charges. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-ryanaug22,0,7934619.story?coll=chi_home_util
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Ryan#Scandals_and_corruption

● Republican Larry Warner, lobbyist, co-defendent with Gov Ryan ........Prosecutors say Ryan steered state contracts and leases to a select group of friends, including his co-defendant in the case, lobbyist Larry Warner, and received subtle kickbacks that included gifts, vacations and other benefits. Some criminal charges against Ryan stem from his 1999-2003 term as governor. http://cbs2chicago.com/medillnewsservice/local_story_107194221.html

● Republican Scott Fawell, Gov Ryan's top aide, campaign manager and former secretary of state during much of the 1990s. Convicted of racketeering in 2003 in connection with his work for Ryan, Fawell was sentenced to 6 1/2 years. Fawell later agreed to help the government at the request of his indicted fiancee, Andrea Coutretsis. http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:ggxa7YqmVksJ:www.usdoj.gov/usao/iln/indict/2004/fawell_et_al.pdf+Scott+Fawell&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=us

● Republican Andrea Coutretsis, a Fawell assistant who later developed a relationship with him, has pleaded guilty in two separate corruption cases and received four months in prison. http://cbs2chicago.com/politics/local_story_212170533.html

● Republican Ronnie Gene DeShon, 50, of Gallatin, Mo., superintendent of the Pattonsburg, Missouri R-II School District. Pleaded guilty in federal court today to embezzling more than $844,000 from the school district. The court released DeShon on his own recognizance. http://home.att.net/~fcwriter/news43.htm

● Bob Kjellander, Republican National Treasurer (R-IL). Under Federal probe for steering investment contracts to Illinois Teachers Retirement Fund. http://www.inthesetimes.com/article/2754/

● Republican Bradley R. Hiller, Ex-GOP insider. Pleaded guilty Wednesday to two felonies in connection with spending he could not account for while running the Senate Republicans' fundraising committee. Judge Stoner sentenced him to one year in prison. Initially, Hiller was charged with writing eight fraudulent checks to himself valued at $24,890.39, but he agreed to repay the committee $146,775 for expense checks he wrote to himself that could not be documented. February 5, 2005 http://www.reporter-times.com/?module=displaystory&story_id=19627&format=html


MERIT SYSTEM SCANDAL - KENTUCKY
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/kentuckydocket.php

● Dan Druen, Transportation Commissioner (R-KY) Merit system scandal, witness tampering. Indicted. In December, 2005, Druen was charged by the Kentucky Executive Branch Ethics Commission with ten ethics counts stemming from the hiring scandal. Each of those counts carries a fine of up to $5,000. Pardoned by the Governor. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Druen

● Tim Hazlette - Indicted - Pardoned

● Bob Wilson, Deputy Personnel Secretary (R-KY) Merit system scandal. Indicted. Pardoned by the Governor. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Fletcher

● Darrell Brock, Chairman of Kentucky GOP (R-KY) Merit system scandal. Indicted. Pardoned by the Governor. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Fletcher

● Basil Turbyfill, Personnel Adviser to KY Gov. Ernie Fletcher (R-KY) Merit system scandal. Indicted. Pardoned by the Governor. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Fletcher

● Bill Nighbert, Transportation Secretary (R-KY) Merit system scandal. Indicted. Trial set. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Fletcher

● Dick Murgatroyd, Deputy Chief of Staff to KY Gov. Ernie Fletcher (R-KY) Merit system scandal. Indicted. Pardoned by the Governor. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Fletcher

● Jim Adams, Deputy Transportation Secretary (R-KY) Merit system scandal. Indicted. Pardoned by the Governor. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Fletcher

● Cory Meadows, Executive Director, Transportation Dept. (R-KY) Merit system scandal. Indicted. Pardoned by the Governor. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Fletcher

● Lloyd Cress, Environmental Protection Commissioner (R-KY) Probed in merit system scandal. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Fletcher


PERJURY

● I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, former chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney found guilty of obstruction of justice and perjury. March 6, 2007: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_Libby

● Criminal charges filed against Republican Pennsylvania State Senator Robert Regola in connection with the death of a teenage neighbor who was shot with the senator's gun; he is accused of three counts of perjury, allowing possession of a firearm by a minor, recklessly endangering another person and false swearing. http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/mostread/s_465348.html

● Republican Dalton Tanonaka, former Lt. gubernatorial and congressional candidate (R-HI) Three months in prison for disguising and failing to report campaign loans. Also investigated for possible illegal foreign funding from Hong Kong and Japan. http://starbulletin.com/2005/11/04/news/story02.html

● Former Deputy Interior Secretary J. Steven Griles, an oil and gas lobbyist who became an architect of George W. Bush's energy policies, pleads guilty to obstructing justice by lying to a Senate committee. March 23, 2007: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._Steven_Griles

● Republican state Senate candidate Mark Tate is indicted on nine counts of perjury and two counts of election fraud by a grand jury. May 21, 2007: http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/related/topic/Mark+D.+Tate?tid=informline

● Republican state House candidate Angelo Cappelli is arrested for perjury and grand theft. August 15, 2007: http://www.abcactionnews.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=309a8afd-eb98-48df-aa20-4a77754883ce&rss=794

● Republican Alexandra Prokos -Perjury - In the Gov. George Ryan’s corruption probe. http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9504EFDE1F31F93AA15756C0A9659C8B63&n=Top%2FReference%2FTimes%20Topics%2FPeople%2FR%2FRyan%2C%20George

DUI

● Republican Montana Rep. Scott Boggio. Pleaded guilty to a blood alcohol level of 0.14 percent when he was arrested. The legal limit in Montana is 0.08. http://www.billingsgazette.net/articles/2007/03/21/news/state/52-dui.txt

● Connecticut Republican Party Chairman Chris Healy is arrested for drunk driving (he pled no contest on June 1, but didn't publicly disclose the event until June 11). May 15, 2007: http://nadams.wordpress.com/2007/06/27/despite-dui-healy-re-elected-republican-state-chairman

● Rep. Kevin Brady (R-TX) Recipient of $10,000 from ARMPAC in 2003. Arrested for DWI in South Dakota. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Brady


RAPE

● Dr. W. David Hager http://fluffer-union.blogspot.com/2007/08/king-is-dead-long-live-king.html

Bush appointee to the FDA, member of Focus on the Family's Physician Resource Council, player in movement to ban the morning-after-pill. Had an adulterous affair, before divorcing his wife who he raped anally for an eight years. When asked about it, he said, “I missed.” http://www.thenation.com/doc/20050530/mcgarvey

● Michael Dructor‚ Republican candidate for North Wales Borough Mayor‚ Pennsylvania. The woman accused Dructor of hitting her in the head‚ arms and waist‚ ripping her clothing off and choking her after an argument that began around midnight‚ according to the affidavit of probable cause filed in district court. http://www.newsblip.net/article/id_article/5870/grp_id/182/push/1/?PHPSESSID=10fc72a30dd46029e26c1df2cab39e6d

● Republican, Leonard Ray Owens - The longtime leader of the Oregon Christian Coalition and staunch opponent of gay rights admits in a newly released police report that he sexually touched three underage girls. August 30, 2006 A Texas pastor accused of raping a church member after telling her she was possessed by a lesbian demon at his house last year has been indicted. Republican, Leonard Ray Owens, 63, who is free on $25,000 bail, is now awaiting trial on a charge of sexual assault, a second-degree felony punishable by two to 20 years in prison. He was arrested in November, 2005. Police began investigating Owens last year after a 22-year-old woman reported that Owens raped her twice at his Fort Worth home. The woman told police that in July, several months after she began attending the Prayer House of Faith, she went to Owens' home for counseling following a miscarriage. Owens told her that a sex spirit and lesbian demon were inside her and needed to be cast out, police said. The pastor then asked her to lie on the floor and began yelling at her as if she were a demon, saying, "Loose her in the name of Jesus," according to an arrest warrant affidavit. http://www.wfaa.com/sharedcontent/dws/wfaa/latestnews/stories/wfaa051112_wz_pastorsex.5570060c.html

● Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida. Howard Scott Heldreth, anti-abortion activist who gained fame during the Shiavo media-circus, was convicted of two charges of raping a child in 2002. Page at Florida Department of Law Enforcement's Sexual Offender/Predator Unit
http://offender.fdle.state.fl.us/offender/About.jsp

● Michael Flory, former head of the Michigan Federation of Young Republicans, pleads guilty to sexual abuse. July 24, 2007 http://www.cleveland.com/news/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/cuyahoga/1185352776235720.xml&coll=2

● Glenn Murphy Jr., recently-elected Chairman of the Young Republican National Federation, is accused of sexually assaulting a sleeping man - and that’s not the first time it’s happened. July 29, 2007: http://www.news-tribune.net/breakingnews/local_story_219210228.html

● State Rep. and House Minority Leader Galen Fox (R-HI). Jan. 2006. Convicted on federal charges of fondling a woman on a Honolulu to Los Angeles commercial flight. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galen_Fox


RAPE/PEDOPHILES

● John Bryan - St Petersburg, FL city council member. Bryan resigned from the town council, then drove home and committed suicide. He was accused of molesting three teenage girls whom he adopted.
http://www.tampabays10.com/news/specials/popular/article.aspx?s=popular&storyid=62840

● Joshua Dickens, Republican Constable of Faulkner County. (AK) Severely beat, burned, handcuffed and kidnaped woman he was in a relationship with. Sentenced 5 yrs, could be released within 1 year. After the trial, a 16-year-old girl, also made accusations to the police that she had been sexually assaulted by the young man. Sept. 29th, 2005. http://www.officer.com/article/article.jsp?siteSection=5&id=26149

● Republican County Commissioner Patrick Lee McGuire surrendered to police after allegedly molesting girls between the ages of 8 and 13. http://www.armchairsubversive.org/Patrick_Lee_McGuire.htm

● Republican prosecutor Larry Corrigan was arrested for soliciting sex from 13-year old girls. http://www.komotv.com/news/4795006.html

● Republican Mayor Jeffrey Kyle Randall was sentenced to 275 days in jail for molesting two boys -- ages ten and 12 -- during a six-year period. http://www.wkbt.com/global/story.asp?s=4075665&ClientType=Print

● Right-wing Republican activist Jeffrey Ray Nielsen --a lawyer with close ties to Congressman Dana Rohrabacher --has been accused of having sex with a fourteen-year-old boy in 2003, as well as maintaining a cache of gay porn. Ironically, the extensive legal delay in this case has led to new allegations by other victims. http://www.ocweekly.com/news/news/our-thing/25902/

● Republican William Gillin, 53, Pittsburgh, PA, August 30, 2006 A former college administrator, a former Christian bookstore owner and a former policeman admitted to sexual misconduct with a teenage boy. They were among five men arrested in March as part of an ongoing investigation of men who meet boys through Internet chat rooms, authorities said.William Gillin, 53, republican and Paul Skiles, 63, republican, both of Johnstown, pleaded guilty yesterday to corruption of minors, indecent assault and unlawful communications with minors. Mr. Gillin is the former alumni relations director at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown. Mr. Skiles owned the now-closed B&K Christian Bookstore in Richland Township. Some of the incidents occurred when the boy was 16, prosecutors said. He is now 17. http://mac10.umc.pitt.edu/u/FMPro?-db=ustory&-lay=a&-format=d.html&storyid=7160&-Find

● Republican Paul Skiles, 63 Pittsburgh, PA, August 30, 2006 A former college administrator, a former Christian bookstore owner and a former policeman admitted to sexual misconduct with a teenage boy. They were among five men arrested in March as part of an ongoing investigation of men who meet boys through Internet chat rooms, authorities said.William Gillin, 53, republican and Paul Skiles, 63, republican, both of Johnstown, pleaded guilty yesterday to corruption of minors, indecent assault and unlawful communications with minors. Mr. Gillin is the former alumni relations director at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown. Mr. Skiles owned the now-closed B&K Christian Bookstore in Richland Township. Some of the incidents occurred when the boy was 16, prosecutors said. He is now 17. http://mac10.umc.pitt.edu/u/FMPro?-db=ustory&-lay=a&-format=d.html&storyid=7160&-Find

● Republican County Board Candidate Brent Schepp was charged with molesting a 14-year old girl and killed himself three days later. http://cbs2chicago.com/westsuburbanbureau/local_story_290194825.html

● Republican executive Randall Casseday of the conservative Washington Times newspaper pleaded guilty to soliciting sex from a 13-year old girl on the internet. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2006/09/28/wash-times-human-_n_30450.html

● Republican Pat McPherson, Douglas County Election Commissioner. Arrested for fondling a 17-year-old girl. http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Central/12/17/nebraska.scandal.ap/

● Republican chairman of the Oregon Christian Coalition Lou Beres confessed to molesting a 13-year old girl. http://www.gayrightswatch.com/2006/08/exclusive-lou-beres-of-christian.html

● Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd pleaded guilty to charges of soliciting sex from an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won elections for Denton County, Texas, constable. http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/city/denton/stories/DN-constable_04met.ART.North.Edition2.28d2.html

● Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy. http://www.armchairsubversive.org/Bobby_Stumbo.htm

● Republican petition drive manager Tom Randall pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 14, one of them the daughter of an associate in the petition business. http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/news/homepage/article_1158949.php

● Republican County Chairman Armando Tebano pleaded guilty to fondling a 14-year-old girl. http://www.armchairsubversive.org/Armando_Tebano.htm

● Republican teacher and former city councilman John Collins pleaded guilty to sexually molesting 13 and 14 year old girls. http://www.armchairsubversive.org/John_Collins.htm

● Republican campaign worker Mark Seidensticker, 45, of Concord and Ogunquit, Maine, was arrested in Concord, accused of inappropriate contact with teenage boys. http://www.boston.com/news/local/new_hampshire/articles/2005/11/22/ex_aide_to_official_faces_jail_in_solicting_minor/ http://www.concordmonitor.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050902/REPOSITORY/509020305/0/FRONTPAGE

● Republican Mayor Tom Adams was arrested for distributing child pornography over the internet. http://www.armchairsubversive.org/Tom_Adams2.htm

● Republican Mayor John Gosek was arrested on charges of soliciting sex from two 15-year old girls. http://www.armchairsubversive.org/John_Gosek.htm

● Republican Committeeman John R. Curtin was convicted of molesting an underage teenage boy and sentenced to serve six to 18 months in prison. http://www.poconorecord.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070619/NEWS/706190304/-1/NEWS01

● Director of the "Young Republican Federation" Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison. http://www.armchairsubversive.org/Nicholas_Elizondo.htm

● Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was charged with rape for allegedly paying a 15-year old girl for sex. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women. http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2005/07/14/news/mtregional/news07.txt

● Republican radio personality Scott Eller Cortelyou of Denver arrested on suspicion of using the Internet to lure a child into a sexual relationship. January 23, 2007: http://co.jefferson.co.us/news/news_item_T3_R475.htm

● Republican Judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.
http://www.patrickcrusade.org/Mark_Pazuhanich.html

● Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a "good military man" and "church goer," was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.
http://www.armchairsubversive.org/Mark_Harris4.htm

● Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet. Director of Faith & Family Alliance, (a Christian Coalition spin off), former student of Pat Robertson's Regent University, member of Ralph Reed's inner circle who funneled money to from lobbiest Jack Abromoff to Reed, convicted in Virginia for soliticing sex from a 13-year-old-boy and on four other counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet. Currently serving a 7 year term in a Virginian State Prison. Virginian-Pilot Article
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Abramoff_timeline

● Republican anti-gay activist Earl "Butch" Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her. http://www.armchairsubversive.com/kimmerling.htm

● Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison. http://members.aol.com/IngramOrg/

● Spokane Mayor Jim West (R-WA) Under Federal and state investigation for abusing his office to obtain sexual favors and soliciting sex over the Internet from underage males. He was also accused of misusing his office as mayor to lure teenage boys for sexual relationships. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_E._West_%28politician%29

● Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl. http://www.armchairsubversive.org/kevin_coan.htm

● Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy. http://www.thevitalvoice.com/2002/2002_1227/rathmann.html

● Republican politician Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to minors under 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children). He later committed suicide: http://archives.cnn.com/2002/ALLPOLITICS/06/20/tenn.lawmaker.dead/index.html

● Republican anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt was charged with sexual misconduct involving a 15-year old girl. http://www.feminist.org/news/newsbyte/uswirestory.asp?id=7849

● Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a child in Kona Circuit Court to sexual assault in the first degree. http://starbulletin.com/2000/07/20/news/briefs.html

● Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.

● Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters. Then, after being convicted of a felony, tried to run for office again. http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2002/Oct-30-Wed-2002/news/19951668.html

● Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl. http://www.armchairsubversive.org/Jack_Gardner2.htm

● Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy. http://boothbayregister.maine.com/1999-04-15/barter_pleads_guilty.html

● Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison. http://www.wgal.com/news/4176008/detail.html

● Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar. In October 1980, Bauman was arrested (and pleaded innocent) on a charge of solicitation and having sex with a 16-year-old male dancer he met at a gay bar. Married and the father of four, he was formerly chairman of the American Conservative Union and took a strong position against gay rights. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Bauman

● Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. "Republican Marty"), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with a juvenile and one count of delivering the drug LSD.

● Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography. A warrant has been issued for Howard Brooks, Republican legislative aid to Assemblyman Phil Wyman (R-Tehachapi,) accused of molesting a twelve-year-old boy-specifically, committing lewd acts on a child, continuous sexual abuse, and possession of child porn. The Los Angeles County Family Crimes Unit began investigating Brooks after he allegedly sent a sexually explicit letter to an inmate in CA. State Prison, in Sacramento. The letter discussed sexual misconduct with young boys in 2000; according to the case's prosecutor Rouman Ebrahim, authorities are extending the investigation.

● Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media. http://www.armchairsubversive.org/hathaway1.htm

● Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was arrested after allegedly offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him. Rev. C. Stephen White -- better known on Penn's campus as "Brother Stephen" -- will face trial on charges of soliciting sex from a 14-year-old boy, according to the West Chester District Attorney's office. At a preliminary hearing held Aug. 12, White pleaded not guilty to charges of criminal solicitation, criminal attempt to lure a child into a motor vehicle and corruption of minors. All charges will be held for court, according to West Chester Assistant District Attorney Kimberly Callahan, who will prosecute the case. White is married and has three sons and republican fundraiser in the area. http://www.yaledailynews.com/articles/view/8796?badlink=1

● Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl. http://www.fortbendnow.com/news/1608/former-radio-host-arrested-for-allegedly-violating-probation-in-child-indecency-case

● Bob Allen of Florida. July11, 2007: Republican state Representative and Florida co-Chairman of McCain for President. Allen was arrested in Titusville, FL, for solicited an undercover male officer inside a restroom and offering to perform oral sex for $20. The arresting offices stated that he noticed Allen acting suspiciously as he went in and out of the men's restroom three times. Also see: ✺ Paul Robert Balach http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/state/orl-allen1307jul13,0,5667267.story

● Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children, including his own. http://www.courts.state.va.us/opinions/opncavtx/3244031.txt

● Republican Committeeman John R. Curtain was charged with molesting a teenage boy and unlawful sexual contact with a minor. http://www.armchairsubversive.org/John_Curtain.htm

● Republican activist Randal David Ankeney, arrested on suspicion of sexual assault on a child with force. He faces 6 charges related to getting a 13-year-old girl stoned on pot and then having sex with her. Also accused of sexually assaulting another girl. http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/1130885/detail.html

● Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a minor working as a congressional page. Dan Crane, Republican Congressman, married, father of six.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Crane

● Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter, Susan Smith, who later drowned her two children. http://www.teleplex.net/shj/smith/trial/smithsss.html
http://www.fathers.ca/susan_smith_2.htm

● Republican city councilman Joseph Monteleone Jr. was found guilty of fondling underage girls. http://www.chroniclet.com/2007/05/05/monteleone-found-guilty/

● Republican congressional aide Jeffrey Nielsen was arrested for having sex with a 14-year old boy. http://www.ocweekly.com/news/news/our-thing/25902/

● Republican Congressman Donald "Buz" Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a minor and sentenced to one month in jail. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1101890213-151183,00.html

● Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a juvenile. http://www.kcci.com/news/3976822/detail.html

● Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl. http://www.newschannel8.com/Global/story.asp?S=1749917
http://www.wtnh.com/Global/story.asp?S=1913548

● Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17 http://www.armchairsubversive.org/Edison_Misla_Aldarondo.htm

● Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.
http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/g/philip_a_giordano/index.html

● Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.
http://www.armchairsubversive.org/Tom_Shortridge3.htm - L.A. Times

● Republican campaign worker, police officer and self-proclaimed reverend Steve Aiken was convicted of having sex with two underage girls.
http://www.metnews.com/articles/2005/klei121405.htm

● Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was sentenced to six years in prison for molesting two 8-year old girls, one of whom appeared in an anti-Gore television commercial. http://heartlandvalues.blogspot.com/2005/06/ad-creator-charged-with-molestation.html

● Republican former South Dakota State Representative Ted Klaudt is charged with eight counts of second-degree rape, two counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, one count of sexual contact with a child younger than 16, two counts of witness tampering and one count of stalking against two foster children in his care. May 18, 2007: http://www.keloland.com/NewsDetail6162.cfm?Id=0,57158

● Rep. Brian J. Doyle, The deputy press secretary for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security was arrested Tuesday, April 04, 2006, for using the Internet to seduce what he thought was a teenage girl, authorities said. He was arrested in Maryland where he lives on charges of use of a computer to seduce a child and transmission of harmful material to a minor. The charges were issued out of Polk County, Fla. http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/04/04/homeland.arrest/index.html

● Monsignor Alan J. Placa works for Giuliani Partners, annulled Giuliani’s first marriage, baptized two of Rudy’s kids and was even the priest at the funeral for Rudy’s mom. Placa is a Catholic priest accused of sexually molesting boys and who also was the lawyer for a now-closed Whitinsville counseling house for troubled priests that has been described as the center of a pedophile sex ring.
http://telegram.com/article/20070722/NEWS/707220489/1116

● Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison. Ohio- Sexual Assault, Child Pornography. Investigation Target: http://www.armchairsubversive.com/David_Swartz.htm
He faces up to 10 years in prison at an upcoming sentencing. 2nd investigation involving another child has not gone to trial, yet.


CHILD PORNOGRAPHY

● Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000. http://blogs.salon.com/0002551/2003/12/08.html#a516

● Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.
With his political career over, he went to work in the hard-core pornography industry for Platinum X Pictures, owned by his daughter, porn starlet Jewel De'Nyle (Stephany Schwarz). http://www.armchairsubversive.com/schwarz.htm

● Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped. http://www.dailyrecord.com/news/articles/news2-GNJarrests.htm

● Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges. http://www.wbaltv.com/news/2153721/detail.html

● Nicholas Morency, who recently pled guilty to offering a $1.5 million contract to anyone who would murder an abortion provider. In the course of the investigation, authorities also turned up a computer packed with child pornography. http://www.armchairsubversive.com/morency2.htm - Dallas Morning News

● Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer. http://www.metnews.com/articles/2005/klei121405.htm

● Republican president of the New York City Housing Development Corp. Russell Harding (former top Giuliani administration official) sentenced 62 months, embezzled $400,000 NYC revenue. Also pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer. http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F30F12F73C5B0C718EDDAE0894DD404482&n=Top%2fReference%2fTimes%20Topics%2fSubjects%2fE%2fEmbezzlement http://www.armchairsubversive.org/Russell_Harding.htm



LEWD CONDUCT

● Stephen Linnen, the “Naked Photographer” is a former lawyer for the Ohio House Republican caucus. He ambushed women in the nude and took photos of their shocked expressions. He was sentenced last year to 18 months and ordered not to possess any cameras, video equipment or recording device of any kind. http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=News&id=891746

● Brent Parker Utah State Representetive. Arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover officer posing as a male prostitute. http://www.deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,565036793,00.html

● Republican Jack Burkmana reportedly has been caught allegedly offering to pay $1,000 for sex with two homosexuals ... Republican operative Jack Burkmana former lobbyist for "Family Research Council" The council and Mr. Burkmana support and donate money to the Bush administration and the GOP. He was also listed on the DC Madam’s phone list. http://wonkette.com/politics/dept

● Joseph M. McDade, 75, was issued a summons on a charge of exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor that carries up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine. The longtime Pennsylvania Republican congressman who served for 36 years in the House and now works for a Washington lobbying firm, has been accused of exposing his private parts to two women at a beach resort on Sanibel Island. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_M._McDade#Indecent_exposure

● Neal Horsley has called for the arrest of all homosexuals. Admitted on the Fox News Radio's The Alan Colmes Show, that he's had sex with mules. Put photographs on his Web site of naked men engaging in homosexual acts and a nude woman engaging in bestiality amid shots of grotesquely maimed fetuses. Drug dealer convicted of possession of hashish with intent to sell. He calls for "the establishment of a new government, one that can obey God's plan for government." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neal_Horsley

● Republican Matthew Glavin, president and CEO of the Southeastern Legal Foundation, big player in the Clinton Impeachment, and many anti-gay jihads, has been arrested multiple times for public indeceny, one time fondling the crotch of the officer who was arresting him. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1101001016-91795,00.html

● Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.
http://www.armchairsubversive.org/grunseth.htm

● Republican Paul Crouch was a televangelist and former president of Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN). In September 2004, the "Los Angeles Times" broke the story of how TBN paid $425,000 to Enoch Lonnie Ford in an attempt to stop him from revealing his relations with Crouch. Ford, a former TBN employee, claims to have had sexual liaisons with Crouch at the network-owned cabin at Lake Arrowhead in 1996.

● Republican Judge Donald Thompson from Oklahoma, on June 29, 2006 was found guilty on four counts of indecent exposure after using a penis pump while presiding over court cases. The jury recommended four years in prison and $40,000 per count in fines. Thompson insisted throughout his trial that he had never masturbated while on the bench, and that the penis pump was a gag gift which he had never used. Police, however, found evidence of semen on his chair and robes, and audio recordings of trials included a "whooshing" sound that the judge could not explain.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judge_Donald_Thompson

● Republican, Nicholas Morency, who recently pled guilty to offering a $1.5 million contract to anyone who would murder an abortion provider. In the course of the investigation, authorities also turned up a computer packed with child pornography. http://www.armchairsubversive.com/morency2.htm - Dallas Morning News

● Mark Foley -Republican Congressman Mark Foley abruptly resigned from Congress after "sexually explicit" emails surfaced showing him flirting with a 16-year old boy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Foley

● Republican Senator Larry Craig. Arrested for lewd conduct in the men's bathroom of an airport. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Craig

● Republican Senator David Vitter acknowledged being on the D.C. Madam's list and past involvement with prostitutes: Also likes to wear diapers during his trysts with the Canal Street Prostitutes in New Orleans. July 16, 2007. Also: Linked to Abramoff in a case involving a Louisiana Indian tribe. http://righthandthief.blogspot.com/2007/07/canal-steet-madam-says-vitter-was.html

● Jon Hinson of Mississippi. He resigned after being caught in April 1981 performing oral sodomy in a House office building public restroom. He was then married and a fierce conservative. However, he admitted that in 1976 he was accused of having oral sex in a Virginia gay bar and that in 1977 he had survived a fire in a D.C. gay movie theater. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Hinson


DRUGS

● South Carolina Republican state Treasurer and South Carolina Chairman of Giuliani for President Thomas Ravenel is indicted by a grand jury on cocaine distribution charges. June 19, 2007 http://wonkette.com/politics/dept


(just plain old ) PROSTITUTION

● Republican Senator David Vitter (LA) Being investigated for the D.C. Madam controversy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Vitter#D.C._Madam_controversy

● Republican former state legislator Coy Privette is charged with six counts of aiding and abetting prostitution http://www.charlotte.com/109/story/246317.html
http://www.newsobserver.com/news/story/643454.html

WHITE HOUSE GAY PROSTITUTE RING
(if you haven't read about this before, you wouldn't be the first)
http://www.voxfux.com/features/bush_child_sex_coverup/franklin.htm

● Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s. http://www.voxfux.com/features/bush_child_sex_coverup/franklin.htm

● Craig J. Spence, Republican lobbyist, was alleged to have taken friends and male prostitutes on late-night cruises through the White House; he was found dead in a Boston hotel room. [Washington Times, July 26, 1989] http://www.voxfux.com/features/bush_child_sex_coverup/franklin.htm

● Paul Robert Balach, was Labor Secretary Elizabeth Dole's political personnel liaison to the White House. He was also an aide to Rep. Robert Bauman. Balach was part of a major White House scandal during the 1980's. Children from orphanages in Nebraska were transported around the United States by top Republican officials in order to engage in child sex orgies with America's ruling elite. Balach paid for homosexual prostitute services which were charged to his credit card. See Charles K. Dutcher, Lawrence E. King, Jr. & Craig J. Spence.

● Charles K. Dutcher, an associate director of presidential personnel in the Reagan administration, apparently paid for homosexual prostitute services with this own credit card.


ESPIONAGE

● Lawrence A. Franklin, In 2005, Republican, Col. Lawrence Franklin, who was working in the office of Douglas Feith, Undersecretary of Defense for Policy, was arrested and charged with giving classified documents to two top officials at AIPAC who passed them on to the Israeli embassy. The information concerned US positions toward Iran . The AIPAC officials were also arrested and charged with espionage. Lawrence was found guilty and sentenced to 12 years and seven months in prison and fined $10,000 for passing classified information to AIPAC and an Israeli diplomat. http://www.palestinechronicle.com/story-09040760548.htm

● Major Republican donor Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari, a/k/a Michael Mixon, is indicted in federal court on charges of providing material support to terrorists. February 16, 2007: http://www.tpmmuckraker.com/archives/cats/alishtari/

● Republican Leandro Aragoncillo - 46, was a U.S. Marine most recently assigned to the staff of Vice President Dick Cheney, arrested for spying in the Whitehouse. On October 5, 2005, Aragoncillo was indicted and arrested for espionage in New Jersey. Federal agents accuse him of stealing classified information, including information about the current President of the Philippines, Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and passing it to opposition leaders in that country. The FBI referred to his arrest as representing the first known case of espionage from within the White House. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leandro_Aragoncillo

● Steve Rosen, American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) Indicted for criminal conspiracy involving classified national security information. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Rosen

● Keith Weismann, AIPAC Indicted for criminal conspiracy involving classified national security information. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Weissman


OTHER FELONIES

● Richard Leonard, former manager of Linda Schrenko Campaign. Guilty on attempted witness tampering. http://atlanta.fbi.gov/dojpressrel/pressrel06/witnesstampering082406.htm

● Linda Schrenko, Georgia School Superintendent. Indicted on federal charges of stealing taxpayer money. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linda_Schrenko

● Republican Scott Falwell. Racketeering, mail fraud and obstruction of justice. http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9906E2D8133EF930A25750C0A9659C8B63&n=Top%2fReference%2fTimes%20Topics%2fSubjects%2fR%2fRacketeering%20and%20Racketeers

● Hayes Martin, Treasurer of Charles Taylor's congressional campaign (R-NC) Indicted, fraud and money laundering. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_H._Taylor

● Lawrence Novak, Atty, vice chairman state (Mass.) Republican PartyDisposition: Indicted, money-laundering charges accusing him of offering to ``cleanse'' drug proceeds for a legal client (Scott Holyoke). http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2005/09/14/gop_figure_faces_charges_of_money_laundering/

● Robert Vellanoweth, a Republican activist and appointee of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, is arrested on suspicion of gross vehicular manslaughter and felony driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, after a crash that killed three adults and one child. March 28, 2007: http://www.news10.net/storyfull2.aspx?storyid=25998

● Major Republican fundraiser Brent Wilkes and former CIA executive director Kyle "Dusty" Foggo are indicted by a grand jury for corrupting CIA contracts. February 14, 2007: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brent_Wilkes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyle_Foggo

● Ronald Reagan's budget director, David Stockman, "indicted on charges of defrauding investors and banks of $1.6 billion while chairman of Collins & Aikman Corp., an auto parts maker that collapsed days after he quit" March 27, 2007 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Stockman

● Major Republican donor Alan Fabian is charged with 23 counts of bankruptcy fraud, mail fraud, money laundering, obstruction of justice, and perjury. August 9, 2007: http://www.forbes.com/fdc/welcome_mjx.shtml

● Allen Raymond, GOP Marketplace President (R-NH) Pleaded guilty, conspiracy, GOTV phone line jamming, Sununu 2002 campaign. http://www.senatemajority.com/node/213

● James Tobin, the former New England Regional Director of the Republican National Committee for jamming phone service to five Democratic Party offices during the 2002 elections. Found guilty of criminally violating federal communications law. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/16/AR2006051601712.html

● Gov. Bob Taft (R-OH) Misuse of state funds/ethics violations. Convicted, four first degree misdemeanors, pleaded no contest (admission of guilt). $4000 fine and public apology. Two Federal Grand Juries, one state Grand Jury still investigating Taft. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Taft#Criminal_conviction

● Thomas Noe, Bush-Cheney 04 campaign chair, NW Ohio; Turnpike Commissioner; University Regent (R-OH) Misuse of state funds for rare coin fund. Indicted by Federal grand jury, arrested in Florida. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Noe

● Bernadette Noe, Thomas Noe’s wife, Chairman of Lucas County GOP; Chairman of Lucas Co. Board of Elections (R-OH). Misuse of state funds. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Noe

● Brian Hicks, Chief of Staff to Gov. Bob Taft, member Ohio University Board of Trustees (R-OH) Convicted for an ethics violation dealing with his stay at Tom Noe's home in Florida. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Noe

● Cherie Carroll, Chief of Staff Executive Secretary to Gov. Bob Taft (R-OH) Convicted for accepting the payment of meals at "fine dining establishments" valued at over $500 from Tom Noe while he was doing business with Ohio. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Noe

● Chuck McGee, former executive director of the Republican state committee. Sununu 2002 campaign Republican phone-jamming scheme. Sentenced to seven months in federal prison. http://www.boston.com/news/local/new_hampshire/articles

● Republican, Adam Taff, 2004 congressional candidate, (R-KS). Indicted for campaign violations and wire fraud. http://www.thekansascitychannel.com/politics/4864086/detail.html

● Former Congressman Bill Janklow (R-SD) Convicted of manslaughter and jailed for killing a man with his car after blowing through a stop sign at a high rate of speed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Janklow

● Republican and Former commissioner of the Food and Drug Administration, Lester Crawford. On October 17, 2006, he plead guilty "to conflict of interest and false reporting of information about stocks he owned in food, beverage and medical device companies he was in charge of regulating." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lester_Crawford

● Rep. Don Sherwood (R-PA) Investigated by DC police for assaulting and choking a 29-year old Maryland woman. Sherwood, who is married and campaigned for office on "family values", also has been sued by the woman, who claims he attacked and choked her in their “love nest.” Sherwood defended himself by stating that he wasn't trying to choke her - he was just trying to give her a “back rub”.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Sherwood#Extramarital_affair.2Freport_of_abuse

● State Rep. Dan Doyle (R-OR) Convicted for misuse of campaign funds. http://www.statesmanjournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070803/NEWS/708030317

● Vincent Cianci, Mayor of Providence (R-RI) Convicted in 2002 and sentenced to 5 years in prison for conspiracy related to Federal charges of racketeering, extortion, witness tampering, and mail fraud. Also resigned from office in 1984 after being convicted of assaulting a man with a lit cigarette, an ashtray and a fireplace log. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincent_Cianci,_Jr


SERIAL KILLERS

● Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered. BTK killer.

● Ted Bundy campaigned for the Republican Party. Infamous serial rapist who murdered 16 women. Source: BBC


TELEVANGELIST

● Jim Bakker, televangelist with Pat Robertson at Robertson's Christian Broadcasting network. Committed adultery with Jessica Hahn and then used charitable donations to pay her hush money. Fellow televangelists say he's gay. Indicted on 23 federal charges of fraud, tax evasion, and racketeering.

● Jimmy Swaggart, televangelist, said during a sermon "I'm trying to find the correct name for it … this utter absolute, asinine, idiotic stupidity of men marrying men. … I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry. And I'm gonna be blunt and plain; if one ever looks at me like that, I'm gonna kill him and tell God he died." Had an affair with a prostitute.



TALK SHOW HOSTS

● Bill O'Reilly, Right-wing conservative talk show host on Fox News, sued for sexual harrassment by his producer. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1013043mackris1.html

● Right wing talk show host Rush Limbaugh - Illegal Drug use - 30 pills a day habit: 2003 http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/rushletters1.html


SEXUAL HARRASMENT

● Bob Packwood, Senator (R-Ore.), resigned in 1995 under a threat of public senate hearings related to 10 female ex-staffers accusing him of sexual harassment. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/special/clinton/frenzy/packwood.htm

● John Peterson, Congressman (R-Pa), accused of sexual harassment and creation of a hostile work environment by six women. Peterson has refused to admit a crime, saying only "I may have been an excessive hugger."


Republican Party Chairman Sam Walls, who is married, was urged to drop his candidacy for Congress when it was found he likes to dress up in women's clothing http://www.armchairsubversive.org/sam_walls.htm
Are we sure this isn’t Howard Stern?