Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The end is near! Jesus returns on May 21st



My Christian friends get annoyed when I call their faith a 'death cult.' What better way is there to describe people who believe the experience of life is mostly about what comes next? Calling for the end of times, the return of Jesus H. Christ, has been the mainstay of Christianity, and yet, for some reason, most Christians want nothing to do with it. This is the story of how Pastor Harold Camping of Oakland, CA, has decreed our final day here on earth as May 21st, 2011. Hardly enough time to get right by Jesus.  Is that silhouette on the billboard a man praying or a man pooping? 

I'd like to point out that Mathew 23:37-39 clearly states that Jesus will not return until the Jewish people accept him as their savior. Pastor Harold Camping says different. Jesus is returning on Sunday the 21st and Camping's church has spent near to $3 million dollars for billboards to let everyone know. And still, those Jews won't accept Jesus as their savior. They'll ruin everything!

Christians today forget that end-of-days religious campaigns have been a mainstay of their faith. Why won't the Presbyterians get on board? 

WILL THIS WIND


My favorite apocalyptic cult, by far, are the Jehovah's Witnesses. A cursory look at their track record for end-of-the-world prophesies read exactly like this Monty Python sketch. Founded in the late 1870's the Jehovah's Witnesses have declared the coming apocalypse for 1914, 1915, 1918, 1922, 1925, 1975. Almost every year, the God's final judgment is just around the corner. What is really weird about this Watchtower cult is that no one seems to know where the money goes. There are no J.W. / Watchtower charities. Good thing we all pay their taxes or they might go out of business. 

KEITH OLBERMANN


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