Does living make you insane?

Once. Just once, I’d like the nightly news to lead with the real story.

"Today we’d like to report that we still have absolutely no idea what is really going on. To date all we know is a few, scant details that bring us no closer to understanding our reality. It seems that there are over 6 billion of us stuck together on this rock which is mostly covered in salt water. That rock is spinning to the tune of a thousand miles an hour as we revolve around a giant ball of fire at the rate of 365 days per cycle."

"If that wasn’t enough, that ball of fire is twirling around a billion other stars as they all spin around each other at a million miles a day. Not that we can feel this plethora of movement. To us it feels like we’re stranded on this rock because, and get this, we’re surrounded by a vacuum. It literally sucks not to be on this planet. So, even if we wanted to leave, there’s no where to go. God, if God exists, has stranded us here. And if history is any kind of barometer as to future events, I can safely say that our species will probably render this planet rancid and unlivable within the next hundred years. Yup, our species is in for a wild, weird ride on this planet."

"Even though we all seem to have a general knowledge of our circumstance most our species have opted for to create a new reality in their minds, denying the facts of our own existence to our own peril. So alien and immutable is our existence, that a driving need to attach value to our collective dream forces billions to bend reality into another picture."

"We’ve also learned from these reality deniers that God loves you unless you don’t love him back, in witch case God will, once again, burn you in everlasting fire. Sweet. "

"Circumstances of our existence have become value to God according to antiquated documents, Did you know that God cares a great deal about how we have sex, even though God seems to have programmed almost every one of us with an overwhelming desire to procreate?

Knowledge of God’s will grows strange and specific for those determined to rewrite their own reality. We all know that fucking a horse is a sin, thanks to Leviticus, but explain the morality of killing the horse. That’s right, if you check the older versions of Leviticus you’ll find that the raped horse, goat, rabbit or pig needs killin’ once they taste man-penis. (Preferably by stoning, and not the good kind.) I guess once a pig goes sapien he can never go back. Best to put them out of their misery lest they take to raping humans to get another taste of man-penis. Sure, that makes perfect sense.

So, stone the raped pig! Stone the raped pig! Stone him before he turns to man rape.


Can’t someone be honest? We don’t know what’s going on. We don’t know what God wants. We have no idea why we exist. Please, for the love of God, can’t someone stand up and say, we don’t know. Where’s the sin in that?

What? They made a sin out of not knowing?


Here's some of my favorite things about Trey and Matt. They slay me.