Republican Disconnect

In a court of law, nothing is more damning than video tape evidence of the crime. Or maybe not. For my regular readers, you already know that I’ve been craping all over the internet with my new site, Republican Offenders. During research a few of the stories caught my attention, not because they were heinous or perverse. (Although, a great many met those qualifications.) What peaked my curiosity was a disconnect from reality.


If the glove doesn’t fit you must - tell the jury it’s not a glove. Tom Delay is acting like he’ll be ready for another run at the office once this icky ‘indictment’ thing is taken care of. Go to Tom Delay dot com and every thing is hunky-dory.

For those of you who don’t know, Delay is soooooooo guilty. More guilty than the kid caught on video tape robbing a convenience store.


How do you trump video-guilty? It happens when the conspirators of a crime get together and each sign a legal documents declaring their intention to break the law, and then follow through with the plan. And that’s what Delay did. It’s all on paper. For more than a hundred years Texas has had a law which said corporations cannot give money to Texas candidates or officeholders. It’s the job of the District Attorney in Travis County (Austin) to prosecute these offenders. No other district attorney in Texas can file charges against this crime. If the Travis County district attorney doesn’t file charges, he goes to jail. It’s his duty to follow the law.


So, when Delay screams about a political witch hunt, it’s a strange contradiction. Not only does the prosecution have signed documents from the conspirators, she has at least one conspirator cooperating with the investigation.


The disconnect arrives by trying to understand Delay’s thinking. Even the stupidest criminals know they don’t want to be caught. Sometimes it’s as simple as putting on a mask. Late night reality T.V. is filled videos of drunks attempting to obscure their face from the stop-and-rob’s camera. I’ve seen one guy use a ill-fitting paper bag. Another even used a plastic bag, but then had to take it off because he couldn’t breath. One drunken idiot even used his own underwear. The point is, at least these knuckleheads had enough sense to try. Tom Delay didn’t even try to put underwear on his head.



How wide is the Tom Delay disconnect? He’s not mentally retarded. By virtue of his job he must know how to read. He must of known that corporate campaign contributions are illegal in Texas. He’s been a politician too long. It’s as if twenty cops were behind with lights and sirens blaring, the back tire’s rim is showering the pavement with sparks, and Delay is lighting up another cigarette because it’s an nice evening to go for a drive.


It’s not just Delay that owns this disconnect. Republican Rick Renzi (Arizona) is also a kaleidoscope of missing thought. As an insurance salesman to many of the right-wing anti-abortion ‘clinics,’ Renzi thought it would be a good idea to divert $400,000 of their insurance premiums and, instead, use the money to run for Congress. Renzi’s half-ass approach to money laundering makes underwear-on-the-head look smart. When the insurance companies informed the clinics they were no longer insured, the clinics called the cops. Investigators found $400,000 missing and $400,000 in Renzi’s campaign fund. I’m sure Renzi was mystified as to how the cops made the connection. Renzi’s attempt at underwear-on-the-head was to move the money through some bank accounts.


What was he thinking? He doesn’t fit the con-man profile, mainly because there was no ‘con’ involved. Renzi’s plan was to steal the money and then hope no one would notice. Great plan Renzi. You get the dumbass award.


In November of 2007 Bernie Kerik, former New York City police commissioner, was nominated for Homeland Security Director, and shortly thereafter was named in a 16-count indictment charging him with, fraud, tax evasion, obstruction, filing a false loan application, and making an assortment of false statements when applying for various federal posts, including Homeland Security secretary.


Bernie? Did you not read the job title? Do you know what a background check is? Or, did you not think "Director of Homeland Security"required security clearance?


And the questions never stop. So, kudos to the original underwear-on-the-head guy. At least he has enough sense to understand that he’s committing a crime. Even the guy who thought he could breath through a plastic bag knew he was on the planet earth. Republican criminal politicians haven't evolved enough to understand the concept of "try not to get caught."