Wednesday, April 30, 2008

UFO's, our last, best hope for a future

People will believe anything

I truly believe that a good story can change the world. Jesus didn’t do anything. It was his story. But it doesn’t take martyrdom to punctuate a world changing story. It’s only a matter of timing.

It’s not difficult to accomplish. Look what that hack L. Ron Hubbard brought to the table. Hubbard simply adapted one of his crappy science fiction stories into a cult format and created his own religion. Today his followers are totally devoted to this crap, as devoted as those Mormon polygamist in West Texas. Doubt is not an issue.

Programming a person isn’t difficult. Mass delusions created by cults and parents are easy to create. A sense of community reinforces these delusions. When 5-year-old’s share with one another about Santa Clause and what he’s bringing them for Christmas, there is no doubt. Santa is real. Why shouldn’t he? His friends are telling him the same story mom and dad told him. And who want’s to argue with presents?

You’d think rational people wouldn’t believe that the evil Lord Xenu created the nasty body thetans that can only be excised by an e-meter that will cost you 299.00 a session to use. Everyone at the Church of Scientology believes, so it must be true. My new Scientology friends wouldn’t lie.

UFO’s can save the world

I can’t say enough about the UFO industry. I love it. It may be the perfect story. It won’t die, and it brings us all together. Year after year, Americans witness odd lights are in our skies. 1/3rd of Americans already believe extraterrestrials exist. Strange stories continue to surface, confirming and denying alien existence. For those who haven’t read the latest in UFO reporting, a local Phoenix resident strung a series of road flares to some balloons and deployed them at night. Within minutes UFO fever swept the city again. (A few years back, an unidentified black triangle shaped ship floated across the city.) The great thing about the UFO story is that even though many of these stories turn out to be hoaxes, the overall story only gets better.

Alert!

Aliens,. . . big head - anal probe aliens, are out to enslave the human race. So far, they’ve covered their tracks well, but the truth is slowly coming out. You must believe before you can truly understand the reality we are living in. And that belief will set you free.

If you believe, you’ll quickly understand that what divides us is small and petty. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. All world religions need to unite against the UFO threat. It’s God loving humans verses big head - anal probe, atheist aliens. It doesn’t matter if the Jews killed Jesus. E.T. want’s to rape your baby sister. It’s only a matter of time before they start taking our jobs and mixing the races. Soon they’ll be defiling our women and forcing us to accept the metric system. Bastards! If that wasn’t enough, I’ve also heard they don’t wear lapel flag pins. They must be evil.

Humans must unite against this threat. It’s us or them. We need to stop fighting each other and fight to save our planet. Word is, the aliens are going to make their move after we pollute the planet into another ice age. They like it cold.

Motivation

Tthe only thing that can motivates humans - in mass is fear and hate, so, whenever you get a chance, tell someone the story of how E.T. took your virginity when you went camping. Do it to help stop global warming. Do it for your grandchildren.

What is E.T. short for? It’s because he had these little, tiny legs. (Not much of a sprinter.)

No comments: