Donuts, is there anything they can't do?

While pursing my unusual interest in Republican criminals I learned about Stephen Linnen, legal counsel for the Speaker of the House in Ohio. Stephen, if you somehow end up reading this, I’m sorry I’m picking at this mental scab, but I think what you did was hilarious. You may be my favorite republican. Granted, you’re no George Hunter White.

In 2004 the artist inside of Stephen Linnen couldn’t be bound by the conformity of the Republican party. He needed to express himself. So he took up the hobby of jumping out naked in front of women and taking pictures of their shocked expressions. Stephen, you must make a coffee table book!

Stephen took 40 different candid photos before he was caught. Confirming that men can be starkers in mind and in lack of clothing. But I love the concept. Is the woman revolted? Is she curious? Is she smiling in admiration? Is she horrified? Ewwwwww! A penis. Although, I can’t help but think you’d kind of get the same expressions from photographing strangers who accidently walk up on a badger giving birth to Dick Cheney. (Word is, he’s a Cylon.)

Actually, Stephen’s concept is just an offshoot of an old high school gag. Remember? Your lifelong buddy hands you a fresh donut, and after you take a bite he shows you a picture of the donut with his penis sticking thru it. I’m not sure I want to know if there’s a female version of this joke.


On another note:


I’m looking forward to summer this year. My brother owns a resort on the Guadalupe River just outside of Gruene Texas. It’s called White Water on the Horseshoe. I’m going tomorrow night to watch my old buddy Walt Wilkins. He’s going to be playing at the amphitheater along with the Bellamy Brothers. You can check out his web site here at White Water Rocks!


I plan on floating down the Guadalupe river all summer. There’s nothing better. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s a picture of the Guadalupe from last memorial day.

The Horseshoe on the Guadalupe is perfect. In 5 minutes they drop you off next to the dam and it take you about 2 and a half hours to float back to the campground. It’s a Stress-B-Gone tablet in the form of an inner tube. Donuts, is there anything they can’t do?