Special Prosecutors to Investigate the Bush Administration?

Republican Congressman Jack Kingston was on Real Time with Bill Maher and left us full of warm fuzzy dumbness. Responding to Obama-mania, Jack brought up Barak’s obvious lack of patriotism by not wear flag lapel pin and then berated him for not placing his hand over his heart during the national anthem. I couldn’t help but wonder if Kingston was mentally retarded. What kind of person questions a U.S. Senator’s patriotism? Judging from the deep introspective nature of Jack Kingston comments, his patriotism comes from an IQ of 80.

If Republican’s get to impugn a candidates’ patriotism, I think the liberal left should be allowed to question the sanity of Republicans. Is McCain stable enough to run this country? I don’t know, but I saw his hand do that old-man shake the other day. He may be unstable. Most Republican’s are.

How do these dim bulbs like Kingston get elected?

I was happy to see that Crooks and Liars comment on this nonsense.

Congressman Jack Kingston, you win the prize. Help support special Olympics. Anyone can be a Congressman.

On another note. . .

What cost 200 million dollars and will be seen as a monument to war? Dubya’s Presidential library has been given a green light at SMU - in Dallas. As a tribute I imagine that the constitution will be printed on the toilet paper for every restroom.

200 Million dollars. Could a 500% tax on all future Presidential libraries be considered? Why can’t we have a President willing to set aside his ego and spend the money on his constituents instead? Wouldn’t a sane person be willing to send 20,000 kids to college instead? That would create a real legacy.

On another note:

I remember hearing this during the debates, but it didn’t really sink in until later.

Obama:

“You know, I’ve heard from an Army captain who was the head of a rifle platoon — supposed to have 39 men in a rifle platoon,” he said. “Ended up being sent to Afghanistan with 24 because 15 of those soldiers had been sent to Iraq. And as a consequence, they didn’t have enough ammunition, they didn’t have enough humvees. They were actually capturing Taliban weapons, because it was easier to get Taliban weapons than it was for them to get properly equipped by our current commander in chief.”

Could this be true? Yes. Yes it is. Check out the Associated Press’ fact check to the story.

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory?id=4346903

How can the Republicans in Congress support this kind of thing? Dubya obviously doesn’t care. But the real question is why news like this only gets to the public through a Presidential candidate? Why am I not reading about this on the front page of the New York Times every day? Why can’t television news cover stuff like this? I am reminded of William Randolph Hurst who said, “you provide the pictures, and I’ll provide the war.” And he did. Now, the media’s interest is to keep the war going.

Special Prosecutor

I finally broke down and called the Obama and Clinton campaign headquarters to get an answer to my question: “Is the candidate willing to appoint a special prosecutor to go after any of the myriad of Bush administration’s crimes?” I wasn’t interested in the answer. I knew how they would answer. It was the way they responded to me that answered my real question about the character of the candidate.

I called the Hillary campaign headquarters here in Austin first. I needed to know the number for the her national campaign headquarters. The volunteer that answered the phone wanted to know why I needed the number. I told her. With a defiant attitude she told me that if it wasn’t on Clinton’s web site, then she didn’t have a comment. Again, I asked for the national campaign phone number. She wouldn’t give it. I hung up when I found the number on-line. As it turns out, the national office mimicked what the volunteer in Austin said. If it ain’t on the web site, she won’t comment. Sweet.

Obama’s camp was a different scene entirely. My question to the Austin office immediately elicited a phone number for press inquiries in the national office in Chicago where I was told, politely, Obama’s party-line to re-vamp the Justice Department. The guy I was talking to knew what I was asking was not on Obama’s web site and he genuinely tried to help me. At the end of our conversation he took may name, e-mail, and phone number and promised to get back to me with a more detailed answer. I’ll write about his response, if he responds, with my next post.

Until then: DON’T FORGET TO VOTE!

Why I'm voting for Hillary

I’m not voting for Hillary because of anything she has said. I’m not about change. I don’t have a new vision for America. What I have is a twisted fantasy I’ve been sitting on for ten years. I want to be the next Monica Lewinsky, but I’m not going to get there if Obama wins. My sexual ego would never need stroking again if I was the one who did the President. What makes my fantasy even better is that I’m not a good looking guy. I’m 6' tall, and 280lbs. I maintain my girlish figure by sticking to the four food groups: "Candy, Candy canes, Candy Corn and Syrup." And it isn’t a good illicit affair unless the guy she’s seeing is uglier than Monica.

"Mr. Korioth, you’ve broken up a marriage, you have publically humiliated the President, and now she may be impeached over this indiscretion; what do you say to the millions of Americans who consider you as the man who destroyed this country?"

"Yeah, my penis will do that."

It would be like winning the ego lottery. But actually having sex with Hillary isn’t really part of my fantasy. The real fantasy begins when Bill and I throw down. Twenty minutes after she throws all his cloths into the rose garden, (lets not forget they are from Little Rock) Bill tells the secret service to stand down, and we go bare knuckles on white house lawn; broadcast live on CNN. Even though I don’t know any martial arts I win the fight, al la Lethal Weapon, with a roundhouse kick to his head. Hillary lets me in, and I am the new first man. That’s how I roll. It’s how its done in the big leagues. But, once again, that isn’t going to happen if Obama wins.

Well, I guess it could. But Michelle Obama would probably kick my ass, and I don’t think I’d win any ego points for having sex with Barack. Maybe a few.

Democratic Candidates

After watching the debates I have a theory about the candidates. They may be about ‘change’ or know something about ‘change’ or have some ‘change’ in their pockets. I’m not sure, I fell asleep when I heard the word ‘change.’

Change, change, change, change, change.

I can only imagine the word ‘change’ was polled with voters and came back with numbers previously held with words like ‘fuck’ and ‘Gyllenhaal.’ But what strikes me as funny is the resulting conversations with the candidates before the debate.

"Good news. We spent twenty million dollars to poll forty thousand Iowan voters and found out that the word ‘change’ sends them into an orgasm. They actually ejaculate when they hear the word. If you say the word change more than twenty times, the voters will actually lite up a cigarette after the debate."
The candidates must of believed them because it soon became a ‘change’-off.

Obama: "I am all about the change."
Clinton: "You may be about change, but I am change."
Edwards: "You may be change, but I’m double change."
Obama: "Yeah, well, my change is better than your change."
Richardson: "Okay, I never got the memo about the word change."

I think what the electorate is looking for is a candidate that doesn’t listen to these inane polls. But once again reality sets in and I realize that you can’t get elected without jiggling your keys in front of the infant voters. Still, there’s got to be something better to say. How about, "I’m all about a non-static posture." or "A vote for me is a vote against the status quo." or "Vote for me and you’ll be voting against Britney Spears and Paris Hilton."

I only put in Britney and Paris because their names generate more hits on my blog.

Debate Coverage - it’s not the answers, it’s the questions.

Oddly enough, its not the answers that fills me with dread. It’s the questions. They never ask questions of value.

Questions never asked: Off the top of my head. . . .

Have you ever seen a UFO? (Pres. Carter did.) How many people would you justify killing to secure our oil interests? Who are your biggest contributors and how beholden are you to them? Will you be appointing a special prosecutor to pursue Bush administration wrong doings? If no, how many other crimes will you ask the Justice Department not to pursue? (For the Republicans) Why is homosexuality so abhorrent to you? Please describe your own sexual proclivities so we all can judge you. Doggy style? Oral sex? Would you ever consider having sex with Jesus?

Do you believe that global warming exists? If so, do you agree that drastic action is required?

There are two million people in U.S. prisons. 80% are in prison for drug offences. Is the legal system the best way to handle what is essentially a public health issue? Marijuana doesn’t kill anyone, how do you justify legalize tobacco? Should marijuana be legal? Should alcohol? Alcohol kills more and hurts more than all the illegal drugs combined.

If you don’t endorse universal healthcare, how do you justify murdering U.S. citizens that don’t have insurance?

And can we, for the love of god, have a debate which give the candidates enough time to fully answer the questions. And if they don’t answer the question, can’t the moderator press for an answer? I’d prefer a system whereas the moderator can push a button and send the candidate through a trap door if they don’t answer.

Almost every politician has endorsed testing our teachers - can’t we test the candidates? Give me a thousand word essay describing the worst part of the American dream. How are your algebra skills? How many signers of the Constitution can you name? Please list the amendments to the constitution.
Since we’ll never, ever, ever get anything like that, I’m throwing up my hands at the entire process.

The shallow American . . .

Lets get down to the real issues. We don’t really need a debate. We don’t even need a primary. As an American I make my choice based on looks alone. I’m all about the image. So, in the end its Romney vs. Obama. But, as an American, I place huge value on their names, so I can’t vote for Mitt or Obama. I’ve never even heard of a Mitt before. That leaves Hillary. But as an American my voting decision is mostly based on who has the best television commercial. Hillary has the worst commercials. So, as an American, my vote now goes to whoever gives me the best photo ops. I need a candidates willing to go to a diner and sample the local cuisine, just to show they are like the average Joe. Too bad that will never happen. But if I had to make a decision now, my vote goes to the best haircut. For this reason, and this reason alone, I am throwing my support behind Derek Zoolander! Zoolander from President!!!! Mugatu for Vice President.